After all that has been happening over the last few months, I am constantly surprised at how strong I am.  I have had issues with depression since college, and probably even since middle school if I really look at some of the things I did and thought to myself.  But when my mom passed away, i got through it ok.  And when the kids passed away, I thought that I'd never make it even through the night.  But there is something there that is keeping me going, and keeping me focused on what I need to do.  I never would have imagined that after losing children that I'd even be able to get out of bed again.  But I do.  Each day, I make it through by playing, laughing and caring with PJ and Aspen, and by remembering, crying, and smiling about Cora and Michael.  I don't know where it's coming from, but I am thankful that I have the strength to get through each day and that I can keep it going so that PJ and Aspen don't grow up feeling like they lost me too.

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