FEELINGS

[SheilaJean]

***This was  passed along to me and I know all of us have felt these things!***


1. I wish you would not be afraid to mention my baby. The truth is
just because you never say my baby doesn't mean he or she doesn't
deserve your recognition.

2. I wish that if we did talk about my baby and I cried you didn't
think it was because you have hurt me by mentioning my baby. The
truth is I need to cry and talk about my baby with you. Crying and
emotional outbursts help me heal.

3. I wish that you could talk about my baby more than once. The
truth is if you do, it reassures me that you haven't forgotten and
that you do care and understand.

4. I wish you wouldn't think that I don't want to talk about my
baby. The truth is I love my baby and need to talk about him or her.

5. I wish you could tell me you are sorry my baby has died and that
you are thinking of me. The truth is that it tells me you care.

6. I wish you wouldn't think what has happened is one big bad memory
for me. The truth is the memory of my baby, the love I feel for my
baby, the dreams I had and the memories I have created for my baby
are all loving memories. Yes there are bad memories too but please
understand that it's not all like that.

7. I wish you wouldn't pretend that my baby never existed. The truth
is we both know I had a baby growing inside me.

8. I wish you wouldn't judge me because I am not acting the way you
think I should be. The truth is grief is a very personal thing and
we are all different people who deal with things differently.

9. I wish you wouldn't think if I have a good day I'm "over it" or
if I have a bad day I am being unreasonable because you think I
should be over it. The truth is there is no "normal" way for me to
act.

10. I wish you wouldn't stay away from me. The truth is loosing my
baby doesn't mean I'm contagious. By staying away you make me feel
isolated, confused and like it is my fault.

11. I wish you wouldn't expect my grief to be "over and done with"
in a few weeks, months, or years for that matter. The truth is it
may get easier with time but I will never be "over" this.

12. I wish you wouldn't think that my baby wasn't really a baby and
it was blood and tissue or a fetus. The truth is my baby was a human
life. My baby had a soul, heart, body, legs, arms and a face. I have
seen my baby's body and face. My baby was a real person.

13. My babies due date, Mothers Day, celebration times, the day my
baby died and the day I lost my baby are all important and sad days
for me. The truth is I wish you could tell me by words or by letter
you are thinking of me on these days.

14. I wish you understood that losing my baby has changed me. The
truth is I am not the same person I was before and will never be
that person again. If you keep waiting for me to get back
to ""normal" you will stay frustrated. I am a new person with new
thoughts, dreams, beliefs, and values. Please try to get to know the
real me-maybe you'll still like me.

15. I wish you wouldn't tell me I could have another baby. The truth
is I want the baby I lost and no other baby can replace this baby.
Babies aren't interchangeable. Besides, you do not know whether we
have fertility problems too.

16. I wish you wouldn't feel awkward or uncomfortable talking about
my baby or being near me. When you do, I can see it. The truth is
it's not fair to make me feel uncomfortable just because you are.

17. I wish you wouldn't think that you'll keep away because all my
friends and family will be there for me. The truth is, everyone
thinks the same thing and I am often left with no one.

18. I wish you would understand that being around pregnant women is
uncomfortable for me. The truth is I feel jealous.

19. I wish you wouldn't say that it's natures way of telling me
something was wrong with my baby. The truth is my baby was perfect
to me no matter what you think nature is saying.

20. I wish you would understand what you are really saying when you
say "next time things will be okay". The truth is how do you know?
What will you say if it happens to me again?

I LOVE THIS!!!!! It really says what I feel.

[wolfswife]

Feb. 26, 2008 at 12:04 PM

Wow.  That definitely applies to me too.  Thanks for posting it.

Heidi

[Wyndi]

May. 9, 2008 at 7:15 PM Thank you, I lost my son's twin. I am sorry you had to go though this too.

[kosmichippy]

Jul. 2, 2008 at 7:18 PM Hey! I really like this....I really wish ppl around me had talked about my son when I lost him...next month would have been his 25th birthday,and it still hurts...so,yeah....I wish ppl would have talked to me about John James,instead of acting like he never was....

[proud_mommy_87]

Oct. 16, 2008 at 4:29 PM

Thank you so much for posting this! I have never seen it before, but I can relate. I lost my first baby to a miscarriage and I wanted to die. I cried and grieved for months, especially when I would see or hear about babies. I hated when people would tell me that we could always have another baby! I wanted the baby I lost! And I knew that my baby was "perfect" no matter how many times people would tell me that maybe there had been something "wrong" with them or that my loss was for the best! I still think about what could have been, even though it's been a few years now. Thanks again for the great post!