Heartache

[purpleducky]

You don't know what heartache is until...

You see a child run away from her birthday party because it is too much stimulation for her. 

You have to medicate your sister when the new school year starts for a month because she is so stuck in routines. And she knows. She understands that she has to be medicated. That is just killer.

You have to be the one holding your little sister in a basket-hold when she gets upset because you are the only one physically able to. She even threw her 250lb, 6 foot tall father off of her once.

You have to teach your baby sister how to help your little sister how to talk her out of a meltdown because you are going to be too busy with college and won't be there to help her.

You realize that you have no harsh feelings towards you little sister for literally busting a tooth of your's in half inside your mouth during a meltdown because she didn't realize what she was doing.

You see your little or baby sister moved a dryer 2-3 feet because she was upset with mom. And the kicker is, your baby sister was only 3 when she did it for the first time and your little sister was 5.

You work with your little sister night after night on her homework because mom can't deal with it. Mom tires of having to reteach her what she learned night after night because it takes weeks to months for something to click inside your little sisters head.

You do the best you can to help your little sister cope but see the huge steps backwards your mother makes her take because she can't bother helping this little girl properly.

You know your little sister knows that she is different and doesn't know how to cope. She fully comphrends everything but can't deal with it.

You realize that you have a life of heartache ahead of you because you will mostly likely pass this disorder onto your children and you will have to go through all of this with them too.

 

If you can't guess, my little sister is autistic. And recently I have just been thinking about her and what all her and I have been through together. My heart aches for her because our mother holds her back so because she just doesn't want to deal with her and I can't help her anymore. I moved out and my mom withdrew both of my little sisters from school to homeschool because she couldn't be bothered to get them up in the morning or to help them with their homework. I now fear my little sisters will have tremendous trouble socially when and if they finally do go back to school. My heart aches because it hurts going through that all with your little sister. But I know I did the right thing by being there for her. My one big brother helped me through a tough time when I was having a meltdown (My little cousin always got away with beating me up and one day I got so mad that I, the 5'1'' 100lbs girl, fliped my easily 250 lbs 5'3'' cousin over my head and onto a chair with such ease that it frightened my grandmother). And my brother came to help calm me down because I couldn't pull myself out of the meltdown.

Autistic meltdowns are horrible things. And each one has to be handled differently. So please, if you know someone autistic, be there for them. They need it.

This is a repost for the evening crowd.

[judybant]

Feb. 26, 2008 at 8:00 PM I doubt that your Mom will say it, so I will. Thank you for being your little sister's advocate for as long as you were. That was NOT your job to do, it was your Mom's. I am truly sorry that she can't face having a special needs child with as much grace and dignity as you have. And I am truly sorry that your sister will be the one who pays for her weakness. Please, I pray that you are going to school to learn how to professionally help children like your little sister. I can always tell someone who's "been there" when dealing with special problems, from someone who's thoroughly read about it. You'll know how parents and siblings feel, and you'll be able to help not only the special child, but the ENTIRE family! May God richly bless you in your very bright future!