Caring for parents with illness

[srnsn85]

Is there anyone else who is helping to care for parents? We have recently moved my FIL in with us. While are are waiting for test results, the indicators are leaning towards dementia, probably vascular in nature. I love having him here, and would not have it any other way. My DH and I talked with the kids, they knew there were some health issues related to their grandfather, and they agreed that we needed to move him closer to his family. (He lived in a condo several hours away, with no family close). He does suffer from some confusion, but is a gentle soul. Dad cannot drive by himself (2 x in 3 days he was picked up  by law enforcement, once he stopped them lost and the next time for driving the wrong way on the highway) By the grace of GOD no one was injured and the police recognized there were medical issues. I'm worried about how to help him and keep my family from imploding from the stress at the same time.  He did sign a new POA this weekend (which will upset other family members), got a PO box, moved his bank up here, etc.  I've had so-called family call and say we are stupid for bringing him to live with us, that we are after his money, that we cannot take care of him, do we realize we are responsible if something happens to him, etc.  My husbands oldest daughter called to say we are stupid and how are we going to take care of him in "our" house. Like we live in a box or something. Granted my home is small, but everyone here willingly gave up some space and bedrooms for grandpa. Since when is there a specified size on love...I'm at the point, I don't care who gets upset or why. They refused to help take responsibility for keeping him safe , and now that he is safe, they want to tell me how to take care of him. As long as he wants to be here, and he says he does, we can make this work.  If there is anyone who is in a similar situation, or has been,  I'd like to talk with you.

[Lyndall]

Mar. 2, 2008 at 11:26 PM

Hi there,  My parents are in their 80s  My dad has dementia my mother is a horrible diabetic and has kidney failure.  Although they do not live with me Iam there caregiver.  2 years ago I moved them from a house in a bad part of a city an 1 hour away from me to a apartment 4 blocks from me.  Dad will drive right down the street and go to the drugstore or the chinese restraunt if mom is with him but not if it is cold wet dark or snowy.  so I am their taxi, nurse and general support.

 

amazing the peopel who never want to help but are willing to tell you what you should do.  Everyone thought this was a mistake for us too.  But although they can drive me bonkers at times I am so happy to know they are safe.   My brother who used to live by them wouldn't see them for months at a time.  I speak to them daily adn usually see them but everyonce in awhile they go a day without needing me.

 

It can be hard and you will get irritated at time by it can work .  You can vent to me any time .  Dementia is so hard because you slowly lose the person you love and that hurts.  It is hard to see the the my big strong daddy turn into a man who gets lost in his own house.  The man I turned to for advice asking me to help him all the time but I love them and I will keep doing all I can for them as long as I can.