School Bullies

[Emjay]

I've had a long ride on the drama train today with a pit stop in Bullyville. It seems that no matter how much you try you just can't protect your children from a few of life's realities. You know in all honesty, this is not one of life's pit stops that I ever thought I would be visiting with my DD.

Today my daughter became a victim of school bullying. Without going into a lot of details, I will tell you she was taunted and teased, objects thrown at her during an assembly, hair pulled and shins kicked.

DD choosing to be the better person and also fearing the consequences of "snitching" continued on her morning not telling any administrators about the harassment.

Later, between bells, she was lured by who she thought was a friend to go to the girls bathroom, being totally unaware that this "friend" was in cahoots with 5 other girls to jump her over a misunderstanding that happened nearly 2 weeks ago.

DD did not fight back but rather repeatedly attempted to flee the area only to have been dragged back by her hoodie or hair. She was fist punched in the face and who knows what else.

I like to believe I'm competent enough to know there are always three sides to every story. You've got side A, side B, and the "truth". However, it doesn't take a genius to know 6 against 1 isn't fair play. If DD behaved in any manner that she should be held responsible for you can bet your pony she will be rightfully consequenced but the evidence is showing that she is solely a victim of these circumstances.

I am left once again to battle the school system for my children's rights. DD has been sentenced to a week of OSS for being victimized. The only answer I'm getting is that she was in the wrong for not reporting the bullying that took place during the assembly. Due to confidentiality, I do not have a right as her parent to know the punishment given to my daughter's assaulters.

After spending a couple hours at the police station filing a report, watching as the officer took photos of the physical evidence, and listen to DD retell of the abuse that took place towards her today has ached my heart in a way I never knew possible.

Tomorrow we will go to the Superintendent's office to file a disciplinary appeal on her behalf. I cannot understand why it seems no matter the circumstances, victims have less rights than their offenders.

I will not allow her to be bullied by the system! We will prevail!

[bassoonist22]

Mar. 4, 2008 at 1:26 AM FIght that good fight!  It is UNFORGIVABLE that our educational system penalizes our kids for being victimized.  Take a good look at the building administration.  Often when bullying is a big problem at the school, it is because the adults in charge of the buildings are bullies themselves.  The students in the building learn that it is not just an acceptable behavior, but that it is a DISIRABLE behavior that should be rewarded.  I am a teacher and have unfortunately worked in both types of buildings.  Your kid has a right to a SAFE education.

[ali_mom_of2]

Mar. 4, 2008 at 1:26 AM

I'm so sorry that happened to your daughter. I got picked on badly in school, people spit on me, threw things at me, it was horrible..so I can sort of relate to what she is going through now.

I don't understand why you don't get to know what kind of punishment the other girls were given. That seems unfair to me, and being a parent, you would want to know that what needs to be done, has been done.

I hope that you can get everything figured out, and I hope that your daughter is alright. School is supposed to be a place where our kids feel safe, but sadly it isn't anymore.

Ali

[tiffanysmommy22]

Mar. 4, 2008 at 1:27 AM

good  luck!!

 

i was always bullied in school & you better belive i will kick some ass for my children, should that day ever come!

[lisa89j]

Mar. 4, 2008 at 2:20 AM Some of my worst memories of school were being picked on and fighting back only to be punished for it.  In 5th grade there was this girl who walked by me everyday and hit me in the head with a book while I was kneeling down at my locker. One day, I turned and threw a book at her as she walked away (I missed) but the science teacher saw me. It feel on deaf ears that she was hitting me for weeks on end & I was taken to the office and paddled for it (I went to a Catholic school and they still did corporal punishment).  Another time this boy spit water on the top of my head in math class. I got in trouble for that as well because I jumped out of my seat.  And there are many more things I could tell you..but anyway...I hope you are successful in your appeal. good luck.

[I51504vett]

Mar. 4, 2008 at 3:13 AM I am so sorry that your daughter had to go through that! I commend you for taking the assault seriously and taking it to the police.... I would think about changing schools... or private schools... I think that is where my son will be when he is old enough to attend! take care and WAY TO GO MOM!!!! YEAH!!!!

[sarahlove]

Mar. 4, 2008 at 5:44 AM Im so sorry this happend to your dd. I wish only the best for her. Let us know the outcome if the visit.

[angel28]

Mar. 4, 2008 at 7:05 AM Oh sweetheart i'm so sorry to hear all of this. How is DD now she ok? and as for all those bullies they should get whats coming to them and then some. I Hope the school is on her side. 6 againt 1 come on now. And why would the punsih her for not reporting it. I under stand why she didn't do it. Would u want to be a snitch after that. No I would not. and the school needs to understand that.  I so commend u for what ur doing. Ur taking the fight up for ur dd and taking it to the top. Good luck and i hope it work in her fav. Let me know what goes on. I'm here if u want to talk. Love ya!

[HeatherMom8]

Mar. 4, 2008 at 7:14 AM

If she had said anything of made someone mad, this is nowhere near how it should have been handled. Girls make each other mad every day ...

I cannot believe that a group of girls would do something like this, esp. one you thought was a friend. I am appalled, sickened, and in disbelief. At the same time, I remember how harsh they were to me in HS and know she probably did nothing wrong. I do think you are entitled to know what concquinces the other girls have faced and their ppunnishment. You are a strong lady, because I would have someones head. And I know if you do not get the answers you are seeking, you probably will. I am so angry. I can picture if this were my daughter nd how you must feel. Nothing is bad enough to hurt another person in this way.  

Iampraying for you both and hope youget some answers. Love you. 

[boosma]

Mar. 4, 2008 at 8:12 AM

That brought tears to my eyes. Your poor little girl. How ignorant is it that SHE should be punished in this way? She didn't do anything that could have been bad enough that 6 other kids had to gang up on her!

I think also, that it's ludacris that you can't know the punishment of her abusers. I know that when a 14 y/o boy was threatening to kill my 5 y/o son, and got specific on HOW he was going to do it, I demanded answers and for some reason, was given those answers. You go and you fight that school system. IMO those girls don't have any rights, let alone privacy! I hope your daughter gets better soon, and can get past this awful thing done to her.

[FaeryDreamer]

Mar. 4, 2008 at 8:37 AM

I have always told my daughter to never, ever allow anybody to bully her, regardless.  I have also told her that if a bully ever touched her, she had a right to lay that girl out on the floor, and I would back her up at school, nor would I be upset with her if she were to be expelled.

My daughter's school has a zero bullying policy.  Also if there is a fight, the police are called.

When my daughter was in the 8th grade, she was bullied.  It started out with the name calling and so forth.  I told her to ignore it, and if it continued to say something.  When she did say something, it turned physical. The bully broke my daughter's glasses. We sat down with our daughter and told her that if that girl touches her again, to lay her out on the carpet.  She was afraid of being arrested and expelled.  We told her to not worry about that and that we'd stand by her and go to court if we had to.

We also had a conference with the principal.  I sat across the desk from the principal and told her that we have given our daughter permission to beat the snot out the bully if the girl touches her again. Our daughter came home that afternoon and said the girl had been kicked out of school.  The girl never came back.

The thing is, support the kid in a bullying situation, regardless if the child has done something or not to initiate this.   When it comes to getting jumped in the bathroom at school, fault is no longer an issue. The issue is the bullying and it has to stop.  A child has a right to be safe at school.  If the school doesn't have a bullying policy, then shame on that administration.