first ultrasound

[oshinn]

so, today was the big day, with remarkably dull results.  as could be expected my bladder didn't expand enough to do an external one, so they got to slip the condom on the big dildo-looking thing and put that inside of me.  they estimated me at about 6 weeks, not far enough along to hear a heartbeat.  this means my due date is 27 october, almost at halloween.  how about that?  teh baby's daddy was there, watching the whole thing as they moved the wand around.

after the appointment, i got into it with him.  i finally admitted that i did NOT want to have an abortion- no way, no how.  it's been something i've been struggling with.  after we argued for a while and him going "but why?  why don't you?" i finally told him to quit asking that.  i said it was my body and i didn't like it and i didn't want to do it and that should be good enough.  to which he threw up his hands in defeat and replied, "fine, see you in a month."

we're considering adoption.  i've been thinking long and hard about this entire process.  while i realize that i could make a great mom, i'm not sure if i'm ready to be one yet.  i'm pretty selfish and self-destructive and i'm not sure if that's a style i want cramped.  i don't know if thinking it would be a cramp in my style is a bad thing or not.  i'm good at being poor and i don't mind being irresponsible, but i don't want to impose that on someone else.

anyway, we have a long time to think it over.  my next appointment is in a month, so i can get another ultrasound and actually see the baby then.

i'm craving swiss rolls.  i'm going to have a pair.  peace! 

[Sara-Amelia]

Mar. 5, 2008 at 2:34 PM

Googd luck

 

[happyandlost]

Mar. 5, 2008 at 2:37 PM aww good luck,  i   went  through the exact same thing a year ago, i had my baby boy Oct,1st  2007 =] I thought about  abortion, then adoption, then I just decideed  to be a  single mommy. I'm back with the baby daddy and my lil  baby is  the most  amazing thing that has ever happened to me. once you have thte  lil one  you'll fall in love =] if you ever need anybody to talk to msg me.

[DonorMother]

Mar. 5, 2008 at 2:38 PM Being a mom is great if you are ready. Adoption sounds like aood idea. There are alot if women out there who cannot have children.

[destinee_115]

Mar. 5, 2008 at 3:45 PM I agree with your stand on the whole abortion thing..  no one deserves any sort of explanation, even daddy... as for the adoption thing.  I guess I'm torn.  I should probably keep my mouth shut, or in this case just sit on my hands... but  through our entire friendship, I've expected you to voice your mind no matter what, so I guess I'll do the same.  Yes, if you absolutely are not ready to be a mommy, adoption is the best option.  There are countless women/ couples out there who can't have children, and thats a good thing to do.  Where I'm torn is..  just a couple months ago, didn't you assume you were one of them? I'm not going to sit here and say you'll never have another chance at a baby...  for all I know you could pop out a whole litter somewhere down the road of life.   I'm your friend, and I'll support you no matter what you decide. 

[onethentwins]

Mar. 13, 2008 at 3:39 PM

I gave my baby away to adoption. Worst descision I ever made. Check out this http://www.cubirthparents.org/booklet.pdf and something else you should know, 80% of open adoptions close and you have no legal recourse.

Now I know that parenting is fun and has it's own rewards, and you can go out and have fun, meet a husband, go to college and do all those things while raising your baby. Don't let that precious gift go.

[rmattes]

Mar. 19, 2008 at 11:33 AM I went through a similar situation. I was no longer with my daughters father, I was not financially ready and most likely emotionally. But a funny thing happens when you have a baby...you grow up. Especially if you are a single mom. You know what you have to do and you just do it. You fall in love instantly...there isn't anything I wouldn't do for her. Yeah, there are times when I wish I could be free again, but they disappear as soon as she laughs at me or gives me baby kisses. But YOU know YOU. Ulitmately, that's who you have to answer to. Good luck :-)

[babycakes254]

May. 20, 2008 at 9:34 PM

i was 17 when I got pregnant with my son...in my mind I thought "This baby is going to ruin my life. I can't parent this child"..I cried everyday.I felt that way during mywhole pregnancy.

 

That all changed the moment he was placed into my arms. Please do your research on adoption BEFORE contacting PAPS ,any attorneys or agencies.

 

My Kylin is a 5 yr old well behaved preschooler now!!