Assorted Laws of Life (very true!)

[Pengy]

ASSORTED LAWS OF LIFE

& Law of Economics

The amount needed for the present unexpected emergency is always in direct proportion to the amount you had saved for a vacation.

 

& Law of Mechanical Repair

After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

 

& Law of the Workshop

Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

 

& Law of Probability

The probability of being watched is directly proportionate to the stupidity of your behavior.

 

& Law of the Telephone

If you punch in a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

 

& Law of the Alibi

If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

 

& Variation Law

If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in and left will start to move faster than the one you are now in.

 

& Law of the Bath

When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring.

 

& Law of Close Encounters

The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

 

& Law of the Result

When you demonstrate to someone how a machine won't work, it will.

 

& Law of Biomechanics

The severity of the itch is inversely proportionate to the reach.

 

& Law of the Theater

At any event, the people whose seats are farthest from the aisle arrive last.

 

& Law of Coffee

As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

 

& Murphy's Law of Lockers

If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

 

& Law of Rugs/Carpets

The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.