Why Do Teens Lie?
- March 8, 2008 at 11:41 AM by barbar73069
- 5 Comment(s)
- 88 Total Views
There was a post in one of my groups where the woman was extremely upset with her teen daughter lying. The responses were along the lines of taking all privileges away from her daughter and pretty much grounding her for life. This got me to thinking, because I have two girls 17 and 16 (as of Thursday.)
Lying is a behavior that is often modeled by adults. Some adults will lie to their bosses saying they are sick, in order to take a day off of work. Some will lie to their kids, when their kids ask them difficult questions. Others may lie to their spouses at times. If we lie then how can we expect our kids not to learn this same behavior. When we try to make our kids think we are perfect by saying, no I never did drugs, no I never skipped school, no I didn't have sex as a teenager, kids catch on fast. I will not lie to my kids.
Sure kids lie, but many adults do too. Our job as parents is to be positive role models and not model this kind of behavior, then we in turn can have the same expectations for our kids. I'm considered pretty liberal and I accept many of the teenage behaviors that some parents wouldn't, so often times it is easier for my kids to be honest with me. But my girls know that honesty, respect, and safety are the core values I expect them to uphold and so far they aren't doing too bad. Knock on wood. So as far as my kids lying? I really don't have that problem here, just call me lucky.
- Written by barbar73069 on March 8, 2008 at 11:41 AM
- 88 total views
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Comments:
My 15 year old lied to me when she was about 10 or 11, about something SO stupid! I called her out on it and she was so embarrassed! I grounded her, not for the incident that led to the lie (I really couldn't have cared less about that!) but for lying to me.
I think she got the point! My girls know that the punishment for the offense is WAY less than the punishment for lying to me...and I will catch them...mom has eyes in the back of her head!
Bravo, Barb, for making sure we see the pink elephant in the room.
Our kids are not dumb, the do see what we do and try to be like us. I think it was good of you to bring it up, and make someone think of what SHE is teaching her kids.
I so agree with you! when my kids ask questions I told them the truth. no reason to lie about it. honesty is always the best no matter how tough the answer is going to be for the person asking the question!
I hate when parents lie to their kids. It bothers me to the point where I am considering leaving Cafemom. Too many parents do it then post about it. It seems to be bothering me more and more here lately. I have tried a lot of parenting message boards, but it seems everywhere I go someone is lying to their kids about something. I don't know why it bothers me so much, but it does severely. When it comes to parent and child I think pure honesty is the only way to go.
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Gavin (14) lied a couple times when he was in 1st grade (public school socialism). Connor (13) and Ki (11) have never lied I don't think.
I think that those issues should be taken care of when the child is younger and they won;t be as big of an issue when they are older.
To many parents think a disbehaving toddler, preschooler is cute and laugh it up- which is just so wrong I think.
Kiter Mar. 8, 2008 at 11:45 AM