Cleaning.

[Gaelina]

No not me, God!

I cannot begin to recount the ways God has been answering my prayers of late but a good deal of it has been through these wonderful woman here in my cafemom groups and through the man God put in my life. This last year was so hard on me and yet looking back I am so thankful for it all! God has done so much cleaning up in my life! The person I am right now is not what I could even begin to claim half a year ago!

I am learning so much and I am so much more joyful than I ever used to be and I used to think I was a fairly positive person but all over the place people are commenting on my attitude and how I 'vibrate' good feelings and its all because God loves me! He's given me a son, a mad, and so many wonderful lady friends! I am so blessed it's rediculous!

Every day I read a post from one of these wonderful ladies and something new tidbit of knowledge gets locked into place and I can feel my heart opening more and more joy running through me even when things I read make me realize who wrong I have been in the past! Instead of the usual 'oh man! I suck!' attitude that brings about self pity and depression I have more feelings of 'wow! Thank You, Lord! I didn't see it like that! What do I do now? Oh! Alright!' and then in pours the joy and the urge to follow God! It's incredible!

I Want to learn so much more and be so much more for God! Whatever he wants of me I want to do it! He is suffusing me with such love of life! What I felt about life before is paultry to seeing the love of life from Jesus prespective! Each tiny little thing can bring the most profound joy simple because the love of God is pouring through me and from all the other people in my life! I never knew life could be so grand in its simplicity!

I've never even met you ladies and I feel more joy and love from you gals than I have in most of the one-on-one relationships in my life! And I know thats because you all love God! And because you love Gos you love me and you love eachothere and you love life. There is love everywhere! I can feel it here!

There is a book that I am going to read by Gary Chapman called "the five love languages" and it talks about how often love isn't seen because the wrong language is being spoken to the people we love. Example: I am a very physical person. I love touch, hugs, taps on the shoulder, or just sitting next to people I care for. I show a lot of my love through touch. My mother on the other hand is an acts of service kind of lover. She sees love as cleaning the house and filling the gas up as showing love. For so many years her and I spoke the wrong kind of language to each other. I would try to give her hugs and what not and for thats not really anything she is really not a physical person. She would try to help me in school work or with my and I would be 'oh, thanks.' and not really feel loved when all I wanted was a hug. So for years we were at each others throats thinking that we weren't really in eachothers hearts and really frustrated with each other. Then one early morning on the way to work the radio host on the christain station I listened to mentioned this book. So, after work I went to their website and looked it up and they had a test to see what kind of love languaue you speak. I sent the link to my mom and we both took the test and then we showed eachother our results and it clicked for both us. 'Oh! I see! we both thought! 'Now I understand!' Since then we have been much better able to understand eachothers love language speak it back!

However, the communicated love here is simply the love of God in fellowship with others who love Christ! I don't need to have physical contact with you ladies because it's about God! This is really something new for me! Feeling this profound love and joy from people I've had no physical contact with is amazing! Ah! I love you ladies!

While the man in my life and I are still not where I would like us to be and I am ok with that because I know that we like this for a reason and that God had things well in control I know now that I was not ready for an 'us' with him yet. So many of the things that the Lord has opene my eyes to through you ladies has been things that my Dr. has been trying to explain to me but I just couldn't see it. I would instantly raise my hackles at the ideas of some of the things he said and believed and yet I would fight so hard to try. I know deep down that he was right but I couldn't understand how. I did not have a teachable heart! I thought I did! But how wrong I was! Ha! 

Then I saw this advert for Cafemom and the urge came upon me to join. I had a impressive drive to find out... I didn't know what. I was looking anywhere and everywhere for truth. So many people in my life all had varying answers but while I liked some of them they just didn't stick to my heart... something was off. My prayers where cries for truth and knowldge and God and so He moved in my life. You ladies became a part of my life and from moment one love tidalwaved upon me. Then my man removed himself from me and what I thought would have been devastating I looked at God and said alright! You are in charge! I am trusting You! And oh! The relief in letting God have the control and just listening for Him to say ok, go that way, gaelly!

Oh, the Lord is marvelous and wonderful and oh so great! I am nothing without Him. Everything I have learned and gained and have become is because of HIm and His grace for me and for others! Without Him I would be nothing! I am his vassal and I wish to serve HIm whole heartedly!

You ladies are all inspirations to me and I cannot thank God enough for each and every one of you! GOd brought me to you and you have all had hands in changing my life!

I love you all!

:: massive hug ::

~gaelina  

[octavia137]

Mar. 8, 2008 at 4:40 PM

1 John 4:7-8    
7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. 8 He who does not love does not know God, for God is love.

WOW!! WOW!! WOW!!

This is definitely the holy spirit who is speaking through you about Love and again i say WOW!!

This brought to my mind the scripture of love , the only way we can truly know how to love is knowing Christ,sis you are so on track it is so beautiful to see,I am right their with you lacing up my running shoes to run this race and finish the purpose and plan God has called us to do, then their will be  a great day of rejoicing when we all get to heaven and , we will be singing and laughing and dancing with tears of joy running down our faces and a love that is unexplainable that we will feel for eternity!! i can not wait for that wonderful day, but until then sis continue growing and learning in the ways of the lord as the holy spirit continue to reveal the father to you, LOVE YOU SIS!!