Raising A teen (13) HELPPPP.....

[momof479]

TEEN TIPS ANYONE?

What do you alow your son/daughter to do when it comes to gf's/bf's, going out with friends chaperoned or not?, internet myspace?, etc......He's had sex ed, internet safety, and lots of talks but it seems to go to the wayside or i'm evil nosy mom.

 HELP!

[tiffanismommica]

Mar. 9, 2008 at 9:55 PM

gf/bf at 13...skating in groups, movies chaperoned that is about all they need to do.

myspace and such, only if you have the passwords!!!

My kids are 16 and 18....I have passwords and they still have curfews and I still ask for ticket stubs or receipts to prove they were where they say they went.

 Good Luck....Pray hard

[PerpetualPonder]

Mar. 9, 2008 at 10:39 PM

At that age, there's almost nothing you can do that they'll appreciate.  Oooh, ticket stubs... good one tiffanismommica... :) I haven't asked for those.  Two things I highly recommend: 1) consistency. If you set a penalty and he doesn't follow the rules, follow it all the way through. A lot of my daughters' friends' parents "ground" their kids for a month, then let them go out the next week.  2) set reasonable penalties and have him help you pick them. I did this with my daughter when I found out she was lying to me about a boyfriend. She had to pick the length of time to go without computer or phone privileges. If she picked something cheesy, I was going to double the number I had in mind.  She picked a month which was ok with me, cos I was going for 6 -8 weeks. Still, a girl with no phone or IM for a month....it was pathetic I tell ya. :)

Also, no passwords, no computer. If it's in his room, take it out.  Keep it in the family room where you can watch, cos they'll create a second profile if they can that you don't have passwords to.  I've followed friends' profiles to see who is posting what, and some have two or even three *very* different profiles.

Good luck!!

[mrsnobleg]

Mar. 10, 2008 at 10:46 AM

I believe that it is important to know what or kids are doing and who they are talking to because they don't know alot about how bad or evil people are now days. I have a 11 yr old girl and I just tell her when u think u can handle a bf and school work then we will considering having a bf and she loves school and I want her to love it as much as possible because I tell her that you will have enough time to fall in love and spend quality time but you only have so long to get your education and get a career and she really relates to that and she is willing to wait on having a bf and stuff. We do alot of family time and we make it quality family time so she really is enjoying that right now but I do realize that it is all going to change pretty soon but, I just keep the communication lines wide open and me & my husband has always talk to our kids about sex and drugs and what the consequences that come with it and she says she doesn't think she could handle all that drama as she puts it. She says shes really not ready to grow up and when u go and have to worry about someone other than yourself as when u have a bg/gf I guess you would say that she is self centered and right now I'm glad that she is selfish and loves herself enough not to want to have someone else in her life.

 I say NO to myspace at age 13 they really can't justify whats right or wrong and they are to immature to understand it all!

[momof479]

Mar. 10, 2008 at 7:58 PM

thanks moms...im doing most of what are saying.......right now i'm a "nosy spying mom whos invading his privacy"....glad to know thats norm for him to think that. We will be having a sit down very soon.  He's a good kid just starting to hide things and tell lil white lies which i know will lead to bigger things. He now has no internet access (i had passwords) he went to dads and conned his dad into making him a new acct at his house after telling him he gets on it all the time at my house. Dad didnt call and ask me after knowing he was in trouble a few weeks ago with myspace,  took his word and now he's really grounded and has no access there either. He's pissd and his dad doesnt believe anything he says at this point and its all my fault..lol...dads gullible and i'm not and  i'm strict and he's not.....oh the joys of co-parenting and seperate household rules.  Bedtime here is 830 thats to early at dads s its 9 there...ughhhh....Im to hard on him here so he's lenient there......I need to give let him grow up so dating is ok at dads.....oh i could go on with the different rules which make raising a teen that much harder.

(Original Poster)

[momof479]

Mar. 14, 2008 at 11:18 AM thanks Heather, u know i respect your  opinion....i'll talk to you a few times today i'm sure. Jerry called him last night after mark went to the store and called him to tell him to call and talk to ZAch...i know confused right...anyhow Jerry talked to him and surprisingly he listened related and changed his tune...WOW. This morning was trying. Its picture day, he refuses to get his hair cut (i know i'm mom) im trying to respect his independence where it really dont mater even though he looks like Cuzzin IT and dressed like a hobo for pics ughhh...i wont be buying them of course....He is such a  special kid ya know........im pickin my battles these days...hes got good grades i only want more respect to go with them ....lol He's gona drive me to drinkin i tell ya. My poor girls are just doomed.

(Original Poster)