DD's Day Back to School After Bullying

[Emjay]

She made it home in one piece physically but not so for her emotionally. She's learning some hard lessons about loyalty and friendship. As her mother I want so much to take away her pain and protect her from life's hard knocks. 

I know there's some things I'm going to have to just sit back and let them work themselves out but it's just so darn hard.

Her "friends" turned their backs on her. They have joined ranks with her bullies. She's devastated and I feel partly responsible. It was not intentional but it seems in our desire to protect her statement and avoid outside influences, we unintentionally isolated her from her peers during her suspension.

She reported a very small handful of peers was even willing to speak to her all day. She feels so alone and is hurting. 

She says nothing happened today with the girls but was informed of several rumors of another attack plan by them. Again, she did NOT go to the administrators. ARGH!

We discussed everything that was stated then I phoned Mrs B (assistant principal) to bring the threats to her attention. I'm not going to tolerate this! 

DD was put on speaker and told of all the threats that were told and of course was lectured yet again about not reporting to admin. I've explained until I'm blue that this is about her safety yet fear is preventing her from telling.

She also stated that she was told by those that would speak to her that her "friends" were told to join the bullies or they were next. I know for a fact that her former best friend has stated in our presence how scared she was of one of the assailants. It's just tragic that these girls have this much power over others like this.

Mrs B said all the girls involved will be called into the office in the morning and given a final warning.  She stated if anything more is said after the meeting in the morning reports will be forwarded to the juvenile dept. (not good enough for me but at least it's something - more than what we have been getting).

So much of this with the friendships and betrayals, I know DD is unfortunately is having to learn the hard way about. No matter how much I want to I just can't fix everything, she has to experience it to grow from it but it doesn't make it any easier to watch. 

Tomorrow will be a new day. Hopefully she will find where she fits with her peers and make some new friendships. Her strength to continue is admirable.

[LadySaphira]

Mar. 18, 2008 at 6:43 PM I wish our daughters went to the same school, I garutee my daughter would be ther for her. she has allready proven many times she does not care what other people say, think, or do. She has stuck up for many of her friends at school. She does what she knows is right, even if it isn't popluar. It is a shame that there are so many kids that are afraid of these bullies.

[smokeybear]

Mar. 18, 2008 at 7:07 PM The really really terrible part I know from my own dd experience is your daughter has got to walk the straight and narrow.  No body language, no involving anyone etc. etc.  or once again she will be punished.......ughhhhhhh  Having gone through this with my own dd I feel your dd's isolation and your frustration - still sending positive energy your way!!  hang in there.    Get her a recording device.  She needs some power while she is walking the straight and narrow.

[MichelleK41]

Mar. 18, 2008 at 8:06 PM (((((((((((((((((((((Em & DD)))))))))))))))))))))))  I too wish my DD and her friends went to school with your DD. I know they would welcome her with open arms and she would have so much fun the head bully may want to leave the school. ;)

[RealSugarBaby]

Mar. 18, 2008 at 8:51 PM

yeah a recorder is a great idea. just makes sure she doesn't get caught my the principal with it because they will take away the tape.

i was recording everything in high school. the principal found out took the tape and called my parents. lol wanting to know why i was recording him. this man called me to his office everyday at the same time. calling me a lair, accusing me of things, telling me to keep my mouth shut, and punishing me for something every other week.

stay strong!

[cheaperbydozen]

Mar. 18, 2008 at 9:12 PM

Please tell DD that I am very proud of her and her courage to return to school.  I'm sure it's one of the hardest things if not the hardest thing she has had to do in her young life.  I am so sorry this is happening to her ~ school is hard enough without stuff like this.  I am also glad to hear that the AP is on your side.  I hope that CPS will see that the report against your family is totally unfounded.  I know it's hard to be put under the microscope like that ~ been there a couple of times myself.

{{{HUGS}}} to you both. 

[daisyb]

Mar. 18, 2008 at 11:05 PM

  You are a Amazing Mom- and you have a Amazing Daughter- You have taken every step possible to ensure the Safety and second most important, you have shown her that you Believe in her- My heart goes out to your daughter more than you know, I was Bullied most of my High School years, back then it wasn't that Big of a deal to the school system as it is now- Thank God, Some Changes have been made But...... There is room for SO Many More- Your daughter should of never been suspended and they should of did a Better Job of Investigating- but, atleast they are taking the steps to make sure she is Safe now. Believe Me, at the end of this dark tunnel- your daughter will Always remember how strong you were for her through this and that will be what gets her through this- Unfortunately, I did not have this kind of support from my mother so, I have carried many scars through the years. There is a book called: "Please Stop Laughing At Me" By:Jodee Blanco. There is so much wonderful information in it about school bullying and she tells her story in such a inspiring way- I can't even begin to tell you how much it helped me, even after all these years- It would probably be a big help to both of you too- You can go to her website at:www.jodeeblanco.comThere is also another website for kids overcoming crisis-(general)www.kidspeace.org (Teenwebsite) www.teencentral.net

 Maybe, these will help her with knowing she is not alone- I will have you both in my thoughts & prayers, I am so sorry that this has happened to your baby- She will get through this because she has a Wonderful Mom walking with her Every Step Of the Way- Take Care

[mshaiku]

Mar. 19, 2008 at 12:14 AM

I found this resource that may provide some useful information.

Stop Bullying Now! Resources for PTAs
http://www.mopta.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=712&Itemid=28

I'm glad that your DD made it through the first day. Being a teenage girl is difficult enough without dealing with the devastating effects of bullying. Big hugs to both of you and I hope your DD finds some true friends to help rebuild her self-confidence and self-esteem.

[sarahlove]

Mar. 19, 2008 at 10:51 PM I am sorry you are going through this. She will be stronger beause she has gone throught this. I did and I am a stronger person from it.

[seminolemom]

Mar. 21, 2008 at 3:13 PM Everything daisyb said above about your DD and you as her mother is so true, I couldn't possibly express it any better. I admire both you and your DD for your strength. Prayers and love Goddess.

[angel28]

Mar. 29, 2008 at 8:08 AM well hopefully after the Mrs. B  talks to all of them that they will back off. how come she doesnt call their parents on this and maybe the parents can tell their child how bad it is to be a bully I hope things get better for u and ur dd. I know it's been a long road for the both of u. Just hang in there and things will get better. Love ya!