Thank you.

[faline1973]

We come to cm and share our experiences. We share our stories. We talk about the friends we keep in real life who are leading lives we don't agree with. We discuss our parent's views - the things we do and don't agree with. Sometimes, we are all too candid with things our families and friends have said/done that have left a bad taste in our mouths. We say these things sometimes in defense of our behavior. "I was raised this way and I got FAR away from it." or "I was raised this way and I stand by it. I know you might not agree, but this is how I was raised."

We share these experiences so people will better understand where are coming FROM. (Not necessarily where we are going!). We share them so we can sort through them. Sometimes, we share them because it perplexes us - how can we have parents/uncles/brothers/sisters/grandparents who think so very differently than us on issues like race and homosexuality? These people are people we love. They are our history - our family. We can't change that.

On the diversity boards I belong to, we see this often. There is still a very large racial divide. We reach out to each other, but we admit - we do it tentatively. As a white person - I am afraid I will be misconstrued. I'm afraid to approach certain subjects with AA women for fear of being seen as racist. My AA friends outside of the net admit - there are things they won't talk about with white people. There is still a lot of mistrust and anger. While I have known many AA women to be open to discussing our differences and our shared beliefs, I have also known many who are still very defensive - always looking for your 'ulterior motive.' We have a long way to go. But at least we are going.

When Barack talked about his AA minister and his white grandmother - I don't believe he was trying to kill one to save the other. I think he was trying to help us understand that racism still exists on BOTH sides. I think he was trying to illustrate that you can have people you love in your life that do/say things you don't always agree with. You take the bad with the good.

I had my daughter before I met Dan. He had a daughter when we met. Together, we have 2 sons. One of my friends once said "If I ever get divorced, I won't have any more kids. I want all my kids to have the same daddy. I think it's trashy to have different kids by different dads." Did I disown her for her ignorance? No. She was much younger than me. She was a very young, happily married mom then. She is now divorced with her two kids. She has met a new man, is in love, and is frustrated that he had a vasectomy so *they* can't have any kids together. :) As her experiences changed - her opinion has as well. I knew her age had a factor when she made the comment. Just the same way my grandmother's age (before she passed) was the reason she thought the 'colored' folks should have never moved across the highway to 'our side' of town. Do I love these people any less? No. Are they part of me? Yes. But I take the GOOD things they have to offer. I relate to those parts. I don't throw out the whole barrel because of one bad apple. I know there are parts of me that my friends don't agree with. The key is to focus on what you DO agree with :)

I would love to thank Barack Obama for his speech in Philadelphia on racism. Whether you are for him or against him - you have to admit - he has us talking. Talking about issues that have been taboo for way too long. While talking with an AA coworker about Obama's speech yesterday, he said "He hit the nail on the head when he talked about our anger. Was he right in what he said about white people being angry too?" I was amazed. We have talked several times - but always 'fluff'. Never anything of substance. We both talked about things I KNOW we would have never talked about before Obama's speech - racial anger. Things our parents have told us. Fears and resentments that are often unspoken. "Often in our hearts, but rarely on our lips." After we finished our conversation, he said "Sherri, that was an awesome talk man. I'm glad you didn't get offended." I told him "I'm glad you didn't get offended either. Let's do this again sometime."

I hope there is change. I hope we KEEP talking. I hope all of concerns are shared and not kept around the dinner table between our own races.

Whether Barack wins the nomination or not, he has done something phenomenol. He has re-opened the doors to discussions that NEED to take place. And I thank him for that.

 

[MsAkers]

Mar. 22, 2008 at 11:57 AM Amazing post!