I'm going to be catty, judgemental and completely unreasonable!

[Shmop]

Get over it!!

Anyone who has been following along with the Cavanaugh Family Circus knows that I've been keeping a friend's 2 boys for the past two weeks. 

I know that not everyone's parenting style is the same and that house rules vary from place to place.  I can deal with that.  I don't expect everyone to be as strict as I am.  But you would think that after being at my house for 2 weeks they would get it!

There are 6 big rules in our house.  No throwing toys; No yelling in the house; and No running in the house.  The other 3 standards of behavior are that we clean up our own messes("I'm the Mom; not the Maid!"); we mind our manners at the table(I don't like seafood that much!); and we share without pitching a fit!

Now I know when the boys have been seeing rough stuff on TV or when they have been in a loud environment.  There is nothing but yelling.  There is very rough play (picking up two cars and immediately smashing them into one another!) and phrases like "I'm gonna punch your face in (while playing with playdough?!) are all too common.  I know when they've been to Grandma's the day or weekend before.  Sharing is like pulling chicken teeth and a fit seems like the perfect solution to anything we want but don't get.

I guess here's where I get frustrated.  As soon as the boys show up and start acting like this my children lose their minds!!  They take on every trait and follow every lead.  They would never even DREAM of acting like this if it was just us - our house was still and peaceful (as much as it CAN be with 3 under 5 in the house!) yesterday.   But here's the thing.  When my children go to someone elses's house (and maybe they are different when I'm not there - okay they probably are!) they behave the same as if they are at our house.  I don't see rough behavior; I don't see their food; I know that they use please and thank you because I've had parents tell me that they are very well mannered.

I've spent the morning trying to figure out why this isn't the way with the other 2 boys.  I know their mom very well - we're very close friends - and I know that if she knew these boys were acting this way she would not only be humiliated but she would probably refuse to bring the boys back to the house.  That's not what I want.  When they are on their good behavior (not even their best) they are the sweetest 2 kids you've ever seen.  And my children consider them best friends. 

I'm not looking for an answer - just a sounding board.  If I just keep brewing the coffee and breathing deep I'll make it!  But man! am I going to sleep tonite!!

[DebraA]

Mar. 25, 2008 at 10:55 AM I would want to know if my kids were running wild with little to no manners. They are being disrespectful to you, your family and kids.  Like it or not sooner or later you're going to have to find a way of telling her about the boys or make the boys spend most of the day in time out.  The influence on your kids will grow more and more. Remember I said I loved kids 2-5 it's because they haven't been exposed to "those kids" at school yet the ones like the boys. Sorry if I over step my bounds but for your sanity it needed to be said.

[Silvertears1275]

Mar. 25, 2008 at 11:04 AM

Most kids are more likely to be heathens at home than at someone else's house.  Mine sure are.  How much longer will you have them?  I'll go find two punching bags... one for me and my foul mood lately and one to send to you =)

[PeanutMM]

Mar. 25, 2008 at 5:33 PM You know, I have watched others kids a lot and I have found that they are going to be one of two ways...perfect angels when their moms are there and crazy when they aren't or insane when their moms are there and perfect when they leave and I lay down the rules.  I don't know why it seems to be that way, but it does!  I had a friends kid decide to use the restroom ALL over the walls of my bathroom once!  I told her about it and after a week of it happening every day we decided to make different arrangements for her kids but remainded dear friends and still get together every time I am in FL...if that gives you any hope about talking to her about it. I know the way you feel! (((BIG HUGS)))  I am saying a prayer for your sanity!