Does she really know what she is asking??? A glimsp into Josef's life....

[Josef1129]

Ok, so my mom asked me today if she could have Josef for the SUMMER! NO WAY Mom!  Now, MAYBE a week or even two, but that is TOPS.  Does she even know what she is getting herself into-we think not!  Below you will see a "typical" day for Josef, this varies just slightly when he is at preschool two mornings a week. And these days he leaves the house promptly at 830 and is back by 130pm.

   Wakeup around 7a, lay in bed with Momma and/or Daddy (depending on what Daddy works that day) until 730a.  730-8a morning cartoons  8a-830a Breakfast and morning supplements/medicines given  830-1130a getting ready for day, outside playtime, indoor playtime (if it is raining or cold), homeschooling (getting ready for pre-k, this is intergrated into everyday play a lot of days)  1130a-clean up time!  12-1230p: Lunch  1230-1p: quiet play time, not too many toys out, may go back outside and play on swingset if weather appropriate  1-130p: TV time  130-330p: in bedroom, in bed with classical music playing (still takes a nap most days)  330p-530p: playtime!  530p-6p: dinner with evening supplements  6p-7p: more playtime, cleaning up outside for the day also  7p-730p: bathtime  730-745p: Sprout channel is on while Mommy gets bedtime all ready  8p: bedtime and do not forget his bedtime supplements/medicine

So, while this looks like a typical day for any 4yr old there is much more written in between the lines so to speak. 

   Josef MUST eat gluten free due to a severe gluten intolerance, we restrict the amt of cow's milk products he eats. We do not drink cow's milk, so for breakfast (and breakfast only) he drinks 8ozs of goats milk (Meyenberg for right now until we find a local farmer) sweetned with vanilla stevia.  We all eat organic or as organic as possible. This means no artificial sweetners, food dyes, perservatives, nirtrates, high fructose corn syrup, hydrogonated oils, etc.  You get the picture-if you can not pronuce it, it does not get ate nor brought into my house.  He is also not allowed ANY soy that is not fermented (like soy milk, soy ice cream, soy cheese, tofu) because of the naturally occuring estrogen in it.  We do not eat commercial beef, chicken or pork, we are almost "forced" to eat commercial turkey because we can not find it locally or grown like god intended animals to be. This means that the beef and poultry is raised without hormones, antiboitics or steriods-whatever happend to letting animals live off the land?!  Most of the produce he does it (as he is a very picky eater) is either organic or local, sometimes both.  This means that no pesticides were used in the growing process, or if there was there is no chemicals used. 

   We live in a "green house"-no bleach, nothing along those lines here.  This even includes our shampoos, conditioners, facial washes, toothpaste, etc. 

And when it is time for supplements that is another part of his daily life that can be draining on anyone who is not used to it. We were not prepared, but after doing it for so long it is second nature to us. You see Josef falls ever so slightly on the autism spectrum. It has taken us a long time to get him back to where he is today. A lot of that is due to the supplements, therapies (OT and SI), no longer vaccinating, and eating the way we do. 

    Here is a list of his supplements that is given on a daily basis:AM-DMG125mg Nordic Natural's Fish Oils (4 capsules) Vitamin B6 300mg Magnesium 150mg Probotic PM-400mcg Folonic Acid Multivitamin  In addition to his supplements he recieves 4mg Singular (for now, we are re-evaluting this due to what the FDA has recently "let out of the bag") and 15mg Prevacid Solutabs at bedtime (he still battles GERD at 4yrs of age). 

And then there is the carseat "issue" my mother has.  He will not be in a booster for a VERY long time!  He rides PROPERLY restrianed, and in style in his primary carseat that is a Britax Regent (harness to 80lbs) and his secondary carseat a Graco Natilus (harness to 65lbs).  I would say 99% of children his age at the early childhood learning center she is assistant director at are in a booster already. Some of these kiddos not even weighing 40lbs nor being 40inches tall!  Not going to happen here for a LONG time!  She would just have to take the extra time to place him in what is SAFEST for MY SON. 

I know there is most likely things I am forgetting, but this is just a glismp into our everyday life.  Do you think you would be up for it? 

P.S.  She lives 700 miles away, and she used to get to see Josef everyday and then we moved. So, I know she is missing him, but A LOT has changed since we lived up North. I just wonder if she really knows what she is asking for!

[jon6pat]

Mar. 29, 2008 at 2:56 PM

If you feel comfortable enough to let her keep him for a week or two, then what's a few more weeks?  Summers are so short anyway.  If you can trust her for a week, you can trust her with more.

I understand you'll miss him.  But it'll be good for both of you in the long run.  He'll be able to visit his grandparents and you'll be getting a break.  Maybe you don't think you need a break, but maybe he does! 

I'd talk to her about her concerns and make a compromise.  Maybe let her have him for 2 weeks, then bring him back for a week so you can see how's he doing.  Then if he's fine, let her keep him another 2 weeks.  There's always a way to work it out for all involved and it's worth the effort because your child needs everyone!

[Josef1129]

Mar. 29, 2008 at 3:03 PM He is a COMPLETE mess right now because of my sis visiting here :-( His routine gets messed up, even if it is ever so slightly and we have a terror on our hands for a week or so.  I just wish she were not so money hungry and come down here!  They (my parents) do not need two incomes, but if I traveled like they *want* to I would need to work too.

(Original Poster)

[ratchetlee]

Mar. 29, 2008 at 3:56 PM Girl - this is a tough one.  I totally think she should be able to try.  It will be hard for her (and you) at first.  Is there anyway you can stay with them both for a few days (or her with you until she can leave with him)?  Show her how things are done and how important it is for him to stay on the schedule.  Now he will get off his schedule, but maybe not to bad.  You will need to sit down with your mom and explain.  Keep in mind though - she is a grandma, so she will do some things her way. Just be prepared.  I say give her a chance.  If it doesn't go well, then reconsider next time.  Of course you and Ray know him better than anyone.  So pray about it and hopefully your answer will come to you.  I think Josef is a great kid.  I have only met him twice, I think he will be fine.  JMO.  You will do the right thing ~ When you do make your decision ~ keep your decision.  Don't let others influence you.  You know how to reach me.  Good luck!  Man, I hope this made sense. LOL

[TotallyConfused]

Mar. 29, 2008 at 4:02 PM

I think the suggestion of staying with them for a few days would definately help.....

I think she should definately have a chance to keep him for at least a few weeks since she's so far away, but you should maybe make her a chart for how his days are supposed to go and then she will be better able to stick to it?? maybe

 

[MommyB11924]

Apr. 2, 2008 at 11:31 AM

I would love for my husband's parents to take the kids for a while, but I don't know if I could handle it for over a week myself. I know that is horrible, but I think I'd lose my mind worrying about them. I trust my in-laws but I just haven't been away from my kids much. Good luck to you in your decision. Hope it all goes well.