Okay, So My Son is Mad At Me!

[willow]

My almost 19 year old son came home from college this morning for Spring break. He showed up here ar the house with his girlfriend (a local girl) and they hung around for awhile.  He got his room all squared away and I realized that the girl had a bag with her. I pulled him aside and asked if he had planned on her staying overnight. He replied, "yes". I answered that it was okay as long as he slept on the couch and she had the bedroom. He stated that they planned on sharing the bed. My reply was that I didn't think that her mother and father would appreciate their 17 year old daughter spending the night in his bed....with him! He promptly told me that when he stays at her house they share a bed. I really don't think this is true, but anyways... His next reply was, "we're not going to have sex or anything". I really didn't think that they were going to, but one never knows! To me this is asking for trouble. My point to him is that I have an 11 year old son in the house and I don't think it's setting a good example. It's just not appropriate! He stormed off and next thing you know, they were headed to her house, bag and baggage. Okay, so was I wrong, I don't think so! So, all you Moms with teenagers or soon to be...see what your heading for!...lol!!

[JMcDonald]

Mar. 17, 2007 at 4:55 PM I think he may be getting to big for his breeches.  He should have not gotten mad but respected your wishes.  You handled it better than my parents would have.  First of all my parents wouldn't even consider the oppisite sex staying over night.  But I guess I will be having to deal with that when my kids are teenagers.  Not looking forward to that.  LOL

[Brittney357]

Mar. 17, 2007 at 4:56 PM I dont think you were wrong.  If you have rules in your house, they should be respected.  I am almost 23, so I went through that while I was in college not too long ago. My boyfriend(now hubby) and I were from different towns, so when we would go visit we stayed at our parent's houses....He slept on the couch and let me have the bed.  Now...when we were at school we stayed at each others houses/apartment and slept in the same bed.  BUT as long as it is at YOUR house, and you have younger children, I think you were completely right in your judgement.

[crazybandmom9]

Mar. 17, 2007 at 4:56 PM I don't blame you. I would have done the same thing. The only way a child of mines bf/gf will stay in my house is if they sleep in seperate areas. I can remember when I was first married 16 years ago I was so uncomfortable sleeping with my husband in my parents home. I know I shouldn't have been but I was.

[kluka7]

Mar. 17, 2007 at 5:01 PM I don't think you were wrong at all.

[lovnmy3boys]

Mar. 17, 2007 at 5:20 PM Of course you did the right thing! This also happened with my oldest son the first year he was away at college. He said he wanted to bring his girlfriend home, I told him sure, but we would need to discuss sleeping arrangements...he said they thought she'd sleep in his room with him...*cough* EXCUSE ME! *cough*  I don't think so! I told him he could sleep on the couch, she could have his room- we also have younger kids to think of (for one thing!)...anyway, they decided she wouldn't come with him, which was fine with us! At that time, he wasn't with a girl for any length of time anyway. What the heck? Do they REALLY think we'd let them sleep together! Oh my...

[mommy_graves]

Mar. 17, 2007 at 5:48 PM u did the right thing.i wishmy mom did that to me.my mom let me sleep in the same bed with my boyfriend when i was 16 and next thing i know i am having a baby and getting married

[friscotxmom]

Mar. 17, 2007 at 10:37 PM Way to go.  Stick to your guns!  You're still the mom and it's your house!

[2old4this]

Mar. 17, 2007 at 11:50 PM I agree with you 100% willow!  No matter what they had in mind it was what it looked like to the younger ones.  My sons know my house rules : no girlfriends in their bedroom ......period.  We relinquished this rule for son #2's girlfriend when she came here after school and was sick but the door was shut and son was not permitted in the room to even check on her.  Dad or I did that.  We usually don't allow girlfriends to stay overnight but we relinquished on this rule with son #2's also.  But.......son slept on the couch and girlfriend slept in son's room with door locked.  Dh and I each took turns up that night just to be sure nothing inappropriate happened and everyone was in their right sleeping place! 

[nbwindchime]

Mar. 18, 2007 at 12:06 AM

You KNOW you were not wrong. And your son, when he thinks about it, will realize that too. My problem is that with him  being 'of age' & her being under age, he could end up in trouble with the law because she is a minor. If nothing else, he should be thinking of that.

But second, it was inconsiderate to put you in that position. I might be inclined to think differently if it was just YOU in the house, but with a younger child...not a chance. You're setting an example.

You did good, hon. Stick to your guns.

[willow]

Mar. 19, 2007 at 9:45 PM Thanks girls...it does make me feel better, although I did know I was right!

(Original Poster)