A little about me...

[rant913]

UPDATED 6-16-07 

Hello, my name is Trudi & here's a little about me.  I'm 35 with a total of 6 kids & 3 marriages under my belt...haha.  I had my oldest daughter Crystal at 17 & married her dad the same year.  We lived in Florida at the time.  I was working & he was busy running around & doing drugs behind my back.  Then we moved to Ohio & I had my son Steven.  I decided to get my GED & college.  While I was in my last year of college I found out about the cheating.  I completed my college degree in Business & we divorced. 

While I was separated from my 1st husband I started seeing my second husband (afraid of being alone I guess).  We had a son John & married that same year.  Things again didn't work out as he didn't know what a job was either.  He had medical problems right before we married but I stayed with him.  We were together about 6 years when I found out he was beating my children.  I immediately made him leave.  That was September 11, 2001.  The day of the bombing.  It was tragic for many people & some for other reasons as well.

I decided to stay single for the next year.  I was having major problems with my teenage daughter Crystal.  She was still blaming me for her dad leaving & not wanting anything to do with her.  Then as soon as my 2nd husband moved out my 16 year old niece moved in as she was being abused at home.  We helped each other over the next year. 

In November of 2002 my best friend Jessica asked if I wanted to go on a blind date.  I hadn't been out in over a year so I said "Why not?"  That's when I met my best friend, lover, companion & all around life long partner.  Up until Robert I didn't really know what being in love with someone was.  We went out on our 1st date November 24th.  December 4th my kids & I asked him to move in.  December 25th he proposed in front of my whole family.  We married September 13th, 2003 & have been inseparable ever since. 

Robert also has 3 children.  His oldest daughter Anastasia is 17 like my daughter.  If you look at our pictures of my daughter Crystal & his daugther Anastasia you would think they were actually real sisters from Robert & I.  He hadn't met her until August of last year.  When he was with her mom he was in the military & was stationed in Texas.  While she was pregnant he had to come home to Ohio as his brother had committed suicide & when he went back to Texas she was gone.  He didn't hear from her or know where they were until 2006 when child support sent him thisletter with his ex-wife's new married name on it.  He started looking on myspace & believe it or not he found her.  They hooked up & I flew her here for 2 weeks.  After she went back home she decided she wanted to live with us.  We explained to her about our strict rules but she wanted to anyway.  So we drove all the way to Texas from Ohio in December when all the snow & blizzards were to move her here.  She stayed about 2 months & didn't like our rules & decided to go back home.  She calls or e-mails occasionally.   

My husband's next child was a son but the mother had a lot more money which bought better attorney's so therefore he was shut out of his life.  His son is the same age as mine, 16. However, he does live here in our small town & goes to the same school as my son's girlfriend.  Hopefully some day he will be able to run into him & get to know him. 

My husband's youngest daughter we have custody of.  We've had her for the past 5 years or so.  Her mother didn't want anything to do with her.  She chose her boyfriend over all of her 4 girls.  Giving custody to either the fathers or the grandparents.  Robert didn't have a job or anything at the time so custody went to the mother's mother.  Robert & I got together & we had a stable life so Rochelle moved in with us & we gained full custody. 

My son Steven's gift to us on our 1st anniversary was a note asking Robert to adopt him.  So a few months later he now has a great dad.  Crystal doesn't want to be adopted as she feels she's too old.  Also her & Robert don't always get along.  Since I've had 2 failed marriages I always gave into my kids because I felt their bad life was my fault.  Which it was but it wasn't my fault how their dad's ended up being.  Anyway, Robert doesn't give in.  When he catches the kids doing something wrong & they get grounded or something he sticks to it whereas I always give in.  He's taught me a lot & our relationship is wonderful.  I know it sounds like he's strict but he isn't really.    He just doesn't put up with lying or sneaking. 

My son John who's 11 now has ADHD & is extremely hyper & has seen many mean things his dad has done such as shooting a gun at his girlfriend.  So John tends to get angry very easily.  John's dad signed all his rights away & I now have complete custody. 

Robert & I love all of our kids the same.  We don't see step kids we see our kids.  Anyway, we have been together since 2002 & we love the same things & family is the most important thing we have.

Right now I'm dealing with my 18 year old daughter Crystal who moved out on her birthday & now she's into drugs.  At least she has a job now.  I just wish she'd lay off the drugs before it gets too out of hand.  She makes sure I know there's nothing I can do since she is an adult now.

My son Steve is completely opposite of his sister Crystal.  He doesn't blame me for their sperm-donor dad's mistakes.  He moved on & like I said chose his own dad which he completely adores.  He has a girlfriend Krista who is 14 & they're best friends.  He works at the ATV shop her parents built.  He helped them from the very beginning.  I'm very proud of him. He has a great job, a great girlfriend, does pretty well in school (could do a little better) and is very loving & caring towards his family.  He makes sure he tells me he loves me all the time.  If we're hanging up on the phone & I don't tell him I love him back he'll immediately call me back & say "I SAID I LOVE YOU!'  He is a real character.  Everyone calls him Scuba cause his name is Steven & he is part Cuban.  He is my strength through everything.  And something else about my wonderful son he's not only popular at school & church but he isn't afraid to tell everyone that he still has his "V-card".  He is 16 & plans on remaining a virgin until he marries.  YEAH HE IS VERY SMART!!!  He starts 10th grade this year.

Our daughter Rochelle is our 12 year old, she starts Jr. High 7th grade this year.  Huge change.

Our son John is 11 & he starts 5th grade this year.  This will be the 1st year for him to be in school without one of his siblings in the same school.  He's very hyper & tends to sneak or get in trouble. A lot of it has to do with missing his father.  He tends to lash out and take his anger out on Robert (my husband).  He loves Robert but uses him as an anger release blaming him for everything when he's mad or gets into trouble.  Unfortunately his sperm-donor dad didn't move away far enough as he's on the next block & just loves to tease John by showing his face but won't be a dad.  John gets wonderful grades in school since he started on meds for ADHD & depression by his doctor.  I hate having my 11 year old on meds but if he's not on them then he can be very dangerous.  I worry alot because I sometimes feel he may really hurt someone.  He's in counseling but sometimes in the heat of the moment with him the counseling goes out the window.  

So there you know about me.  If you ever have any advice on being a parent especailly dealing with my 18 year old daughter on drugs or my 11 year old ADHD son or need advice (I'm not perfect but can be a wonderful shoulder to cry on) then e-mail me.

[PamKR]

Mar. 18, 2007 at 8:37 PM

wow, you have your hands full. Advice...um, just keep on praying daily. Surrender your children to Jesus Christ.  Pray fervently.

Pam 

[Heather07]

Mar. 18, 2007 at 8:42 PM I have been through everyhting that you have been through.Marriages, Kids,Attitudes, the ADHD stuff and everyhting. I could talk to you all day long so accept me as your friend and we will talk. I also have an 18 year old.Right now all I can say until I write more later is tell her to pack up and go. It will be hard for you but if thats what she wants then you need to let her go. I had to.Talk to ya later

[kyrabluevader]

Mar. 19, 2007 at 9:28 PM yep, me too! Second marriage, step kid, ADHD, all that! I'm glad we are friends....

[all4u]

Mar. 21, 2007 at 1:00 PM

WOW GIRL

GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY

I AM ON MY THIRD MARRAGE ALSO . . . . BUT TO THE SAME GUY!!!

THANKS TO THE LORD WE ARE BACK TOGETHER AGAIN FOREVER

IT'S A LONG STORY, NO CHEETING THOUGH

LIA

FOUNDER OF 'MOMS OF 4 OR MORE'

[sabrina06]

Mar. 21, 2007 at 10:43 PM

Trudi it Is truely is my pleasure to meet you

[lilliebug]

Mar. 26, 2007 at 10:45 PM  I know now what I have to look foreword to. But it sounds like everthing works it's way out in the end. Good luck.

[sharj2001]

Apr. 15, 2007 at 1:15 PM

Trudi,

    First of all, let me say that it is a pleasure to meet you and I'm glad that we will become friends. I know that you are going through alot right now but you can't give up. Continue to pray and ask God to work this out with you and your daughter. I have 4 kids and 3 baby daddy's as they call it. I have 4 step kids so I know what it is like. My husband and I have been married for 7 years and together for 10 and I can truly say that he is my soul mate but we have problems with our kids and rules sometimes. Just try to talk to her and let her know that you both love her and that you will be there for her regardless of her decision. I know it is hard to know that your child doesn't like her living arrangements but you never know, she may move and find out that  the grass is not always greener on the other side. Ask God for guidance. If you ever need to talk, I'm here for you.

[mommyof4mom2all]

Apr. 16, 2007 at 5:50 AM Wow! We have alot in common and I'm so glad to be getting to know you. Give your daughter her wings when she gets tired of flapping as hard as she can and getting no where and see's the world isn't that fun in grown up Land she'll come around. Pray for her, lift her up to Jesus in prayer, only he can make things right . If you have your family in Church great and if not you need to find you a good church. You think your happy now get your family in church and God will give your family alot more joy and peace.The Grace of God is the only thing that can make a marriage last, make a happy home, and happy family members. I don't mean to go all Bible nuts on you but I've learned alot in 37 yrs. and two marriages and four kids. God will set you free of all grieve, grudges,guilt, the past, and will make life worth living and bearable. Sorry for the sermon I just love the Lord and he exspects me to tell others. I will pray for your daughter and your family everyday is a battle in this old world . Keep your chin  down and your knee bent and everything will be fine(pray)! God Bless you and your family!

[goumetcandlemom]

Jun. 10, 2007 at 11:36 AM

HUGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

LYNN

[Jillysmom]

Jun. 10, 2007 at 2:03 PM Hi Trudi, wow when I wasing reading your jounral I thought I was reading about myself, from the 3 marraiges to kids living with other parents. Anything you want to chat look me up.