My husband and I made the decision for our family that I would stay home with our little boy. I know that we will have to make sacrifices for that. Well we are house hunting and we know that our budget is low. Well we call two mortgage companies one was recomended by a realtor that we were talking to Key Mortgage or something like that, the other Louisiana Mortgage. So the guy from Key called me back and was gave me the price and I told him that I will be subbing a little bit but I did not think that would be able to be counted becasue it was not a lot and that it is not guarenteed. He said no but you could be qualified for a much better house if you got out and got a job. My eyes started watering and could barely compose myself to say thank you and hang up. I do want to say that we got qualified for much more throuh Louisiana Mortgage. All he had to say was here is what you are qualified for and leave it at that. Why did he have to attack me personally? Staying at home is somthing that I already struggle if it is the right thing for us to do anyway. I have a degree in radiology, and could make a good bit if I did get a job. BUT we feel that it is more important for me to be with Brock. Should I be upset at his comment. I cried for the rest of the day. A real job kept ringing in my ear, even though we did get qualified from the other people his comment still hurts. I don't know perhaps I am over reacting, I felt maybe I should drop Brock off at his office and tell him I need him to watch Brock while I go look for a "real job" and see how quickly he is calling me back. Has anyone else faced anything like this?

Add A Comment


Apr. 4, 2008 at 5:08 PM Yes!!! I think EVERY SAHM has felt this way. I have been a SAHM till 2 weeks ago. Being a SAHM is the hardest and most underpaid and underappriciated job there is. You are NOT alone!!! 

Message Friend Invite

Apr. 4, 2008 at 5:09 PM yes....I had to deal with it when DH decided to go to law school....we can't afford to live where we are, but we are making it....DH and I decdided that i would stay at home and that was that....I would be a little upset. I would probably write the guy a letter or something....I would be hurt by that comment

Message Friend Invite

Apr. 4, 2008 at 5:10 PM

I am a SAHM also... I think the comments that are made like that come from ignorance and from people who don't think before speaking. But heaven forbid a SAHM makes a comment about those that work not being there for their kids... THATS A BIG DEAL>>> lol

Its been figured out that if a SAHM were to be paid for her "work" that she would earn over $200,000 a YEAR!!! And that doesn't even count multiple children. lol We are worth a lot more than we even think. In our childrens eyes not only are we nurturer and daily provider, but we are stability, teacher, and play mate.


Message Friend Invite

Apr. 4, 2008 at 5:11 PM

I'm so sorry you had to hear that today.  But realize, it was from a man...and they usually have no clue as to what it takes to raise a child and be a stay at home mother.  The hours are long, thankless, and demanding, not to mention sometimes, quite isolative.  He has no earthly idea.

when I had a regular 3 year review for child support, I ran daycare. Had 6 kids plus my 3 and ran double shifts.  My ex's atty told me I needed to get out and get a real job.  I felt like telling him that I'm sure the daycare provider for his daughter would love to hear that she doesn't have a real job and he's paying her for nothing. 

I just chalked it up to the value he placed on raising children and teaching children, which apparently wasn't much value at all. 

You have a real job!  A big important job!  Don't ever doubt it! 

Try not to let it get you upset.  Ignorance isn't worth that much of your serenity.  : ) 

Message Friend Invite

Apr. 4, 2008 at 5:13 PM One last thing, It may be worth it to write a letter to his supervisor.  His comment was very very unprofessional and condescending.  It's not good for customer relations.

Message Friend Invite

Apr. 4, 2008 at 5:58 PM

Don't doubt yourself on your decision to be a SAHM.  I have a degree, too, in biology, and worked in pharmaceuticals before having kids.  A lot of SAHMs are well educated, and don't think we couldn't have a whole lot more stuff if we had "real" jobs.  But are an extra paycheck and more material possessions worth what your family would be giving up if you were not there?  I don't think so.

You are doing the right thing.  Don't let the harsh words of a moron make you feel any differently.  He's probably divorced and paying child support and all bitter about his ex-wife not making more money than him so he could keep all his check.  LOL

Oh, and I agree - you should write a letter to the president of that mortgage company.  But read and re-read your drafts.  Stick to the facts and don't be overly emotional about it.  It will probably be read by another guy.  :P

Message Friend Invite

Want to leave a comment and join the discussion?

Sign up for CafeMom!

Already a member? Click here to log in