If You Can't Say Anything Nice...

[kodamom]

A friend of mine here on CM recently lost her newborn daughter.  When I went to her page to leave her a condolence message, some insensitive soul started out a message with "You're kidding, rite?" (Yes, I know how to spell, but those were the exact words!)

Yesterday, I read the story of a mom who has lost two sons in the last six months. 

Both of these women have written journals about people who have accused them of making up their children's deaths.  If you think that's what they're doing, FINE, DON'T LEAVE A CONDOLENCE MESSAGE.  Keep your asinine opinions to yourself, don't burden these women with your insensitivity.

And to those of you who may have made up miscarriages or God forbid, the death of a child for a few moments of attention or to ask for things, a few words of warning:  You don't want to speak death into ANYONE'S life, especially your own.  How would you feel if you made up the death of your child and it actually happened?  I know you've read the story of "The Little Boy Who Cried  Wolf".  Keep making stuff up and when you need help for real, you're going to be out on that little ledge by yourself!

To any mom who has ever lost a child (my own mother included), my heart goes out to you. I can't begin to imagine how you feel.  Just remember that there are people whom you may never meet who are praying for you and your families.

[lipstickclouds]

Apr. 6, 2008 at 6:57 PM I agree, I don't know what rock these awful monsters crawled out from, these people who get off on harrassing women who are at their lowest point in life...it's sickening. Even if they thought for some reason that someone was being dishonest, I don't get why they think it's their job in life to call people out on something they know nothing about, and that is none of their buisness. I wonder how someone can even call themselves human if they can't have compassion for a mother who has lost her precious child. I think there is a lot more moms on cafemom who are sympathetic and caring though, and that's why we all come here.

[thingz123]

Apr. 6, 2008 at 10:30 PM I would take it at face value if someone said they'd lost their child-who in their right mind would fabricate something so horrible? Even if I suspected it, there'd be no way I could prove it, so I wouldn't even try barking up that tree. Marsha, you know I've seen some sick*** behavior on CM; I've complained about a lot of it. Whatever depression, despair, anger or loss someone writes about, I assume they are telling me the truth. It's not my place to play judge and jury. I'm seeing a lot of judgmental behavior on here-whether you are a selfish and unfeeling mom if you vaccinated your kids (re cause of autism), whether you are a horrible mom for not breastfeeding, an indecent mom if you are breastfeeding, etc., etc. But to tell someone to shut up if they are grieving over a deceased child-I think that's unspeakable.

[gustinebrat]

Apr. 6, 2008 at 10:34 PM i feel very sorry for these women who have lost children in any form its horrible to go through it

[Trez]

Apr. 8, 2008 at 7:34 AM

tHINGS GOES WRONG WHEN YOU MAKE UP LIES LIKE THAT.  MY BLESSING GOES OUT TO THOSE WHEN WHO HAVE LOST THIER BABIES.

[AndreaWright]

Apr. 18, 2008 at 1:29 PM it's horrible that we women can't just be supportive of one another

[samiam86]

Apr. 26, 2008 at 4:54 PM

Thanks.. Yeah my friend asked me if I was doin an april fools joke, and I was like r u kidding me? I'm different, and I have a crazy sense of humor but I'll NEVER ever joke about my childrens( can't stop saying children) lives that just something I don't do and would ever do.