What to do?

[Cordevz]

Have you ever been so sad  or hurt that you couldn’t cry?  Tonight I had a horrible fight with my oldest daughter. Today was no different  from any other day. It was just a matter of what’s the BS going to be today.  When I look  at myself in the mirror, I don’t recognize this person steering back at me.  My 1 yr old looks at me like the sun rises and sets on my back.  She looks  at me and smiles, just because and rubs her wet, drooled on hands against my face like I’m supposed to take it. And for her I do. My 5 year old son is old enough now to feel like he needs to protect me from any harm that should come my way. Even if it means coming up against  man or the big bad boogie man. He also knows that I’ve got his back and wouldn’t let anything or anyone hurt him. I’ve said all that to say that my 19 yr old used to look at me and feel  that same way. I’m not sure why she is so angry and particularly at me. Despite how pissed I am with her I would do 19, 20,  21, 22,  for her, but it’s not my journey it’s hers. I can’t stand her just as much as I love her. I know it sounds twisted. But that’s just the way I feel. I feel ashamed to pray for forgiveness tonight because of all the nasty things my baby’s heard me say, including LaDawn. But I know my God. He’s the only one who can  help.  My friends tonight could only take so much of what I was saying. I understand, they’ve got their own stuff they are going through too.   I reckon I’ve said enough cuz there is nothing else I really want to say…..Thanks for listening.

[Sk8trMusicMoma]

Apr. 8, 2008 at 12:37 AM Being 22 myself, I know why she's so mad... she's probably going through something and doesn't know how to explain it or simply feels scared/ashamed/ annoyed about wanting and not wanting to tell you. My mom and I dont talk much bc we fight every time. I hate that, I just want to have an awesome relationship w her.  The bad thing is, she works all the time, (her choice) and her kids are amlost 23, 21, 18 and 17.  We still need her and I think she's forgot that. I wish she would sit down, go somewhere w/ me, and just talk. No judging, no irritable-ness, just chat, likef riends.  I would give anything for that.  She may also be jealous of the little ones. Yes, we still do that

[mspjones]

Apr. 8, 2008 at 9:10 PM well sis, let me say this...she is an adult now.  and you both need your own space.  when it gets to this point someone has to make a move...and she is old enough to do just that...you cant get that angry where you lash out just to hurt her more than she has hurt you...you cant.  i know we have to be strong women and prove our points to our daughters, but emotions can take over and make you say and do things you cant take back...i know when i look at my friend, i see beauty.  i see strength.  i see a BIG heart.  i see someone i love dearly because of who you are...i stay on this site....i knew from the moment i met you dionne that we would be friends...that respect and admiration hit immediately and i coomend what you do for your kids each and every day!!  its time for her to branch out and spread her wings...maybe your heads wont bump as much!  seriously, i know its hard to let go because we want the best for our children, but its causing you to question and doubt who you are...you may be so much alike that it causes you to love and hate in the same breath for her.  pray on it and only he can judge...i may have stuff going on...but never too much for my friend and that is real talk.  i dont care about who reads what i say to you...who believes what i am saying to you...who has something negative or better to say...i just feel what i feel for my friend and never want you to feel any pain or hurt for being the mother, you know how to be....you and her need to sit down together and TALK.  come to a solution to all of this madness...make amends and both step away being mother and daughter...you dont have to agree just walk away respecting one another...for all its worth...do whats best for you and your state of mind.  love ya...smiles♥

[adrianej]

Apr. 10, 2008 at 12:22 AM

I am sorry to hear that you aren't feeling well.  I have felt that way before.  I remember when I used to just HATE my stepdaughter soooo much because she was always saying things to her father to try and get him to treat me wrong.  He would treat her differently because she wasn't doing what she was supposed to do.  And him and I were doing just fine.  So she would always say that he treated me better than he treated her.  So I got upset because I would take that as her wanting him to treat me like $hit because, she wasn't changing her ways to make him treat her any better.

I hated when he would let her come back home after she got kicked out yet again from her mom's house.  I hated that we had to hold off on changes that we wanted to make to our house because he didn't know if she was going to come back home and didn't want to make any changes to her room.

All that changed though when we finally kicked her out, yet again, for not following the rules.  Then when her mom kicked her out, yet again, for not following the rules, she had to get her own place.  THAT was when our relationship got better.  So maybe you should really start thinking about Charlotte....

[BloodofJesus]

Apr. 28, 2008 at 9:15 PM she could be hurting hormones could be rising as well as he monthly just pray about it and when things cool down have a heart to heart conversation with her and let her know you wont be tolerating her disrepecting you. you are the adult in the end who is going to need who more in the end a child need'd her mother and when you get old your going to need your children put it in God's hands and pray about it that devil really needs to be bound in the name of jesus the spirit of controversy and confusion need's to go in Jesus name