I met Andrea in 8th grade ART class.  She had super curly hair and she was funny as hell.  I swear we had so much fun.  She was just one of those girls that everyone fell in love with instantly.  Everybody thought she was absolutely gorgeous. In fact the guys in highschool nicknamed her DREAM ,while us girlies called her ACTION JACKSON.  She was crazy.   I remember her and i teaching her little sister trisha how to spit.  LMAO   I remember when we got kicked out of Motel 6 during basketball tourneys.  We were all running around naked and drunk.  It was the best!  LoL  I remember also thinking how Andrea was so perfect and i so jealous at how perfect her boobs looked.  I remember her coming over to my first apartment and telling me that she learned how to smoke and how cool it was that we could smoke together.  i know retarded but we loved it  then.  I remember when she came over to tell me how she met this great guy named Bill.  He was older and she thought he was soo fricken beautiful.. a year later they were engaged.  I remember her BEAUTIFUL DREAM  WEDDING..  I remember when she showed up in my dorm room to tell me that her little sister Trisha had died.  Trisha was a foster baby that her parent had raised since she was a newborn.  Her biological mother had been addicted to crack and trisha was born way to prematurely .  Her lungs were under developed.  She was 9.  Heartbreaking watching Andrea & her family grieve for her.  I kinda lost touch with Andrea after Trisha passing & her wedding.  Her husband was in the military so they moved around alot.  Jump forward 3-4yrs later.  In that time i had a daughter and had met my hubby by then.  2000 we (hubby,me,dd) decided to just pick up and moved to Chicago from Duluth MN. I mean what a CULTURE SHOCK! Seriously I was scared to death LoL..  The first person I met out here was Christina.  She was married to my hubby's childhood best friend.  She and I hit it off immediately.  She was so cool.  We had alot in common.  we would sit on the phone for 4-5 hours a day EVERYDAY.  we were both stay home moms with small girls.  Our dh's were exactly alike.  I could tell her anything.  In fact she is probably the only person that i told everything to. Nothing fazed her LoL.  We were so bff!  Jump to Dec 2004.  My friend patty calls me up and asks Did you hear" ?  " Hear what i asked?" i asked.  ANDREA HAS BREAST CANCER.  WHAT??!!  BREAST CANCER?!!  this can't be right.  she is only 29 yrs old.   I think to myself.  Patty must have heard wrong or something.  so then i get off the phone and i start to really wonder if it was true.  so i decided to call her parents & try and locate her.  i had tried over the years to find her but never tried her parents .  So i call her mom  & she told me that it was true.  Her mother gave me the number and i called her the next day.  We talked for 8 hours ... yes 8 hours.  We had to catch up.   she had a baby girl who was 18 mos at the time.  She told me about the lump she found in her armpit.  she told me that her drs were so optimistic becuz she was so young.  they even decided to wait on a mastectomy.  She told me about her job.  she was a nurse on the cancer floor ( ironic).  we talked about everything .  it was great.  she was still the same andrea that i remembered.  As soon as i got off the phone with Andrea  that day, i just broke down and sobbed.  i was pissed that i didn't try harder to get a hold of her .  i called Christina.  She was my shoulder to cry on.  she was there  for me.  she would tell me that being so young andrea wasn't going to die.  Christina asked about andrea EVERYTIME i talked about her. Later That spring I called Christina and she wasn't feeling that good.  she said that she just wasn't hungry.  Now that was VERY UNUSUAL for her LoL .. this was a girl who made me feel good about eating Doritos at 10am.   She was having a really hard time eating.  a week later she ends up in the hospital with severe dehydration.   didn't know what was wrong.    she was really having  a hard time eating and drinking. they sent her home saying that she had rheumatoid arthritis.  gave her a Rx but she couldn't even swallow the pills.  one dr told her hubby that he thought she was anorexic even though at the time she was 5'3 180pds.  she ended up in the hospital back in forth for over a month before they found out was wrong with her.  STOMACH CANCER .  i couldn't believe it .  HOW?  this was a cancer that struck 50 yr old  men not 31 yr old stay at home mommies.  Christina had a tumor completely blocking her esophagus to her stomach.  Andrea  didn't do very well that year either.  While Christina was starting her first round of chemo, Andreas cancer had spread to her liver, lungs & her bones.  Andrea died on August 8th 2005.almost a year to the day that she was diagnosed.  She left behind a husband and a 2 yr old daughter  .  Her funeral was so beautiful.  and when christina asked about her later that week i told her " she was doing great"  Christina had had some setbacks and had to stop her chemo for a couple of weeks due to infection.  in those 2 weeks her tumor had grew alot.  so i didn't want her to think about death or anything so i lied.  i felt horrible about it but i just couldn't bring myself to tell her .  Christina died on April 10 2006 almost a year to the day that she was diagnosed.  She left behind a husband and a 5 yr old son & a 12 yr old daughter.  Her funeral was very hard for me.  she was so thin and frail.  she was 65 pds when she died in her hubbys arms.  They wer both so loved and i still can't believe that they are gone. .  i am still very fucked up about their deaths. i still think of both them often and i still cry when i do.  i miss them so much.  my heart is still broken. 



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May. 3, 2008 at 4:37 PM

oh my gosh this is so heart breaking, I mean I cried just reading it and yet you lived it with these two   extraordinary women both your closest friends. 

You seem to have gone thru so much and it almost seems at once.  I'm sorry for your losses that's real extreme, I don't even know what else to say. I can only offer my condolences and a big strong heart felt hug for all you been thru and for their families.

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May. 21, 2008 at 5:03 PM My mom died of breast cancer when i was 15. Then i shortly lost my gpa and gma... I am sorry girl.

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Jun. 9, 2008 at 10:17 PM

I hate it, too.  Our 10 y.o. neighbor died of some weird creepy cancer, and my daddy just died Dec 20th 2007, 66 yrs old  - 8 yrs after diagnosis of prostate cancer.  He actually died of leukemia from chemo.  I still can't believe he is gone.  Cancer sucks.  I gotta quit smoking.  Sheesh.

 Nice to meet you, btw.

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Aug. 7, 2008 at 5:22 AM

I am sorry for your losses.  I lost my daughter 11 years ago at the age of 6 to cancer. crying mini

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Jul. 4, 2009 at 6:42 PM

Cancer is stupid. My b/f's aunt died of stomach cancer. She was awesome and didn't deserve what happened, of course no one does. She knew I was always stuck at home so she'd come get me and we'd go mushroom hunting or get coffee or just sit around smoking um... cigarettes, yeah. The last year of her life was total bullshit. Her husband left her for the skank he'd been cheating on her with for years. This made her kinda go off the deep end. She started going to this creepy church that told her if she quit smoking her husband would come back and all kinds of other lies. Then she had a breakdown and was in the hospital for a while. She seemed to be doing a lot better until we started noticing that she was getting really skinny. She was built like a fence post anyway. Different family members tried and tried to get her to go to a doctor, but she insisted she was fine. Finally in early June of 2006 she went to the doctor and found out she had stomach cancer. The last time I saw her alive was in the hospital looking like a skeleton. But this last memory of her is a great one! We snuck her out of the ICU and took her outside for a cigarette! We totally got caught but didn't get in too much trouble, she was on death's doorstep anyway so what's one cigarette? We were glad to do her this one last favor. A few days later she came home to hospice. I never went to see her at home, she was unconcious due to lack of food and pain medication. She was basically just waiting to starve to death. She passed away on June 24th 2006, my 24th birthday. There was just over 2 weeks between her diagnosis and her death. She left behind a pregnant daughter and a 13-year-old son. Her piece of crap ex-husband didn't come to the funeral, but he did come clear her house of anything valuable and then burned the rest of her stuff. He also didn't bother to take his son with him, so now he shares a bedroom with his cousin at another aunt's house. It was such an awful ordeal for her and the family. I HATE cancer.  She loved hummingbirds so now we collect them and they come in droves to our feeders. When I watch them i think of her.

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