not sure what to do, feeling frusterated and not understood

[olivers_mommy7]

because the AF wont let him join patrick(my bf) wants to get married. well i tried talking to him about it and said i didnt feel we are emotionally, mentally, financially, ect.... ready to get married. I also said being married is hard( so i have heard) and we just had a baby( another hard thing) and i don't feel its the right time. I also said i didnt wanna get married just for a job i want to get married for the right reasons....,.(i thought it was a reasonable reason why not to get married right now)
 
we he started saying that he has sacrificed so much for me and oliver, and he asked why i couldn't sacrifice this one thing(getting married) and he got all pissed about it!!! marriage shouldn't be a sacrifice!!!!!!! so got all mad when i told him that i wasnt going to make that SACRIFICE.....yet! then he called me
selfish because  he says that its always about me!!! how I feel, what I think, what I believe... he says i raise oliver MY way( at 2 months old you don't raise a baby... you nurture and love it)....
 
so today me and oliver saw patty(patricks mom) and she started talking about how i need to think of the future!! she asked what im doing to provide for oliver!!!! and she said that i need to sacrifice this one thing for patrick because he is trying to provide for me and oliver and all this stuff.... she said that we need to be a family( as in me oliver and patrick) and not rely on our family for support. and that we need to become each others best friends and all this other stuff....
 
i mean sure we need to be each others bests friends.... that's true... but we can do that w/o getting married!!!!!!
 
and she kept going on about how i need to sacrifice this, and i was trying to let her see my side of the story and she would ignore me and push it even more!!!!
 
it makes me want to cry cuz i feel like they don't want to even take in to consideration how i feel or what i need/ believe!!!( ok that sound like its all about me) but i mean when i try to sit down and talk to patrick about things, he shuts down and ignores the subject. and communication is a HUGE part of marriage and if we can do that now, there is no way our marriage would last!!!! i wanna work on things like that right now that will help our relationship grow stronger and healthier/...... but they just don't care..... 
 
things got so bad the other day i almost gave up on the relationship.....

[LainysMommy]

Apr. 13, 2008 at 2:50 AM ummmmm....getting maried should not be a sacrafice!!! WTF...and not to be rude to your man, but having a child isn't a sacrafice its a responsibility. The fact that he said that he sacrafice so much for him is rediculous. That child bring more joy to your life than u will get anywhere else. So PLEASE don't marry him!!!!! u know you don't want to, thats obvious. DON"T DO IT. wait until your ready and don't let people pressure you. itz so dumb how young people r just jumping into marriage these dayz, like if your happy 2gether whats the rush? Me and my boyfriend been together 4 years we have a very good relationship and our daughter together, but marriage isn't even a discussion, cause im not ready to be anybodys wife. I think you boyfriend is acting really childish and I hope he doesn't get his way by trying to make u feel bad.good luck with it though, hope everything works ou for you, the way that you will be HAPPY!

[kadens_momma_15]

Apr. 23, 2008 at 7:32 PM wow, dani, im sorry this is going on!! patrick is being dumb and selfish and all that boy stuff! lol... but dont marry him unless its right in your heart! dont marry him just cuz he wants you to, because if he makes you feel bad enough to marry him grudgingly, the marriage won't be happy...like you want to, wait until you know you want to be with him for the rest of your life and that you'll be happy with him for the rest of your life! i wont marry tyler yet either, because im not sure just yet... just cuz u had a baby doesnt mean you ahve to play the wife-role now too! stand up strong and dont let them break you down...when its the right time, you'll know and he'll know and everything will feel right, not like a sacrifice