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only one sock
- Apr 13, 2008 at 7:59 PM
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- Comments (14) Total Views (285) Everyone can see this journal post.
Morgan asked me what I was knitting. I said, "a sock." He replied, "only one??"
Morgan is 14, and he has not grown up from infancy in my house so he doesn't have the mom-is-always-knitting-something thing as second nature the way Andrew and Chloe will. So he occasionally tends to be funny about my knitting, heck, he's occasionally funny about everything.
For example, he just asked Andrew, who is 2, if he was part of koat.com. I have no idea what koat.com is, it's probably a radio or tv station. But why would you ask a 2 year old that question? See what I mean.
Has anyone heard the Queen song, "I'm Going Slightly Mad"? It's such a great song, and if I could put it on my profile page, I would. The song is full of lines that are metaphors for going crazy, and one of them is, "I'm knitting with only one needle..." Like this:
Yes, Cafe Mom, your sweet pea is knitting with only one needle, and you know what THAT means!!!
But I really do love that song for so many reasons, not the least of which is that it mentions knitting. A classic rock song by a seminal classic rock band ("Bohemian Rhapsody", anyone?) that mentions knitting. That's how cool Queen is. But I digress.
Morgan is kind of like that one sock. The one you find in the laundry pile after you've folded everyone's sad, stretched out undies and the t-shirts that say something about who you are and the zillions of identical sport socks. After all that folding, you come to the pile of misfit socks, and there he is.
I'm not trying to say Morgan is a misfit, especially not now. He certainly was headed down that path, because life didn't seem to hold much promise for him. He was kind of raising himself (as so many of my students seem to be doing) and doing a Not Very Good Job of it. We took him in, and I won't go into exactly why, but we took him in temporarily, and then it got longer and longer, and now here we are almost a year later and listen to this:
He got straight A's on his last report card. He's learning a new song on his guitar practically every day. He gets along with Andrew most of the time and when he doesn't he comes to ask for help, in a way that's no longer frustrated. He knows how to make a mean pan of roasted potatoes and if I was desperate and in a pinch he'd put together a loaf of bread in the machine for me, and if he absolutely had to cook supper we'd have frozen burritos. He doesn't pick out ALL the kiwi from the fruit salad leaving none for the rest of us anymore. He is on his fourth sport this year; and from what I gather a girl from school has been texting him.
He sees his mom occasionally and he talks to his dad occasionally which is good, of course, but he sits at our dinner table in the evenings.
I'm really not trying to toot our own horns. Really, I'm not. I'm just as amazed at the change in him as anyone else, including his teachers, principal, coaches, and grandparents. He chose to respond to the parenting we offered. And yes, I readily admit we make mistakes all the time, who doesn't? I often lie in bed at night thinking, oh, dang, I could have done or said that better. Raise your hand if you do the same. But I credit Morgan. Deep down he wants to be liked and loved, and so instead of going deeper into his funk and his depression he chose to come out of it and start taking responsibility for his actions and his life, naturally with the occasional foray into mind-boggling 14-year-old dumbass-ness.
But if you want to know what we did, it's this: 1. Regular bedtime. 2. Regular chores. 3. Asking about homework and putting a little pressure on, every day. 4. Listening to him when he plays guitar for us or wants to talk about cars, which seems like about every six minutes. 5. Having him sit with us at the dinner table and eat the same food we're eating (this one seems like kind of a no-brainer but it wasn't the case in his former life). 6. Taking him on trips with us. 7. Making his each hour of the day productive and meaningful, even if he sits and reads his book for a couple of hours. 8. LOVE--saying it, expressing it, meaning it, and on top of that telling him he's a good kid.
Remember I said Morgan was kind of like that lone sock in the laundry pile, or that's what he used to be. Now, I think of him as the sock I'm knitting. The yarn is variegated, nuanced with blends of many colors. There are some mindless parts like the leg and foot, but some complicated parts like the heel and toe. I'm knitting around and around, but every time I come around to the same point where I started, I've gotten a little further, like the revolving days and weeks of Morgan's time with us. Once the sock is done, it isn't really done because as I will wear it, the yarn on the bottom of the foot will get firmer and stronger as it felts from the heat and moisture of my foot, and the top of the leg will get a little stretched out from putting it on and taking it off. Life is like that, it makes us stronger in some places and a little stretched in others.
And yes, it's only one sock. I can only knit one at a time on the same set of needles, but if I really wanted to, I could have several kinds of socks going at once, like I do with all my children, including Morgan.
So here's to Morgan. Yes, I'm knitting only one sock, you smart aleck, and then I'll knit the other one!!
Comments:
This was so eloquent, so loving & beautiful Thank you for sharing your heart, with a delivery that has blown me away!
I'm voting this popular & sending all of my friends to read this..We're a PRO-LOVE bunch, so I'm sure they'll be thrilled with your soul!
My hat is off to you, and to Morgan!
With Energy,
Aim
What a beautiful, loving family. Thank you for sharing. Your love has touched me and hopefully many others. Morgan sounds like an amazing guy!
such beautiful writing mama, a gentle reminder to moms how important just "the basics" that we take for granted (if indeed we are doing so) everday are. I voted you popular also, I'm one of the "love groupies" LOL
and i'm glad you knit socks, it's something I wanna learn :)
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