i seriously CANNOT believe how fast the past year has flown by!! at about this time exactly one year ago, i met my sweet little boy, the reason i believe in love at first sight! my son has amazed me, amused me, challenged me, and made me sooo proud and thankful the past year. i am constantly overwhelmed by the amount of love i feel for this little guy every day. today i watched him as he fell asleep for his nap and just took a detailed mental picture of him. he has changed so much and is turning into such a toddler!! =o) anyway, (since i am feeling so nostalgic, and since i recently saw a similar journal post by my good buddy oliversmommy!) i decided to reminisce about the awesome experience of bringing my baby boy into this world. brace yourself...this does get ugly!! haha

it started at my routine weekly checkup. at my checkup the week before, they told me that my blood pressure was way too high and sent me over to the hospital to be monitored in a bed for about an hour. which completely freaked me out, because i was all by myself!! after a while, i was sent home and told to take it easy for the next week. i did, but my blood pressure was still dangerously high at my next checkup, which was on april 16th (my due date was on the 20th). so my doctor said she wanted to induce labor that day. yikes!! i wasnt ready yet for labor to start naturally, much less be induced! i had heard so many horror stories about that! BUT, i wanted to do whatever it took to reduce any risk to my baby.

so we checked into the hospital that evening and i was told i would get something that would soften my cervix and gradually bring on labor. well, my doctor wasnt on call that night so the doctor that was came in to check on me to see if i was ready for the cervadil. as she reached...and i mean REEEEEACHED inside me to check if i was dilated at all, she proceeded to say oh, i'm just gonna go ahead and break your water. and i have heard some women say that that doesnt hurt at all, but let me tell you, it was freakin painful!! anyway, that was at 10pm and labor came on fairly quickly after that. i spent the night tossing and turning and falling in and out of sleep. and im not ashamed to say that i did get an epidural because i was DYING. not only did i get pitocin, but i also had back labor. my little bundle of joy was flipped sunny side up and his skull was pushing down on my spine so hard it was close to unbearable!!

at about 2pm the next day (the 17th), i was able to push. so i pushed. and pushed.....and pushed. for 2 1/2 hours. finally my doctor said that they needed to get the baby out and i was getting too weak to do it on my own. so out came the forceps. now i know alot of women are against this kind of intrusion, but all i can say is...i was completely out of it, and trusted my doc's judgement much more than my own at the time. so she stuck those suckers in and pulled so hard i was practically sliding off the bed! there was no time for an episiotomy, i tore like nobody's business. my doctor said that it was the worst she'd seen in a long time. and god bless her, she doubled my pain meds to take home with me!

anyway, my little guy was bruised and beat up when he came out and it sucks to say that i didnt even get to hold him right away, he had to be checked out by the nicu staff. but his daddy was right by his side and dylan was squeezing onto his finger the whole time! so as i laid there being stitched up, i got constant reassurances from my doctor, my husband, my mom, and my sister that dylan was fine and gorgeous and everything a new mom wants to hear!

so basically, almost everything that could go wrong, did go wrong with my labor. BUT i would do it all again in a heartbeat because the reward is more than worth it. i cant wait to have another baby. its funny, but as miserable as i was that whole time, to this day i tell my husband that that was the funnest 2 days of my life. that whole experience was incredible, amazing, and indescribable.

my son is my world. and today he's one. wow. i am so blessed!

sorry this was so long, but thanks for taking the time to read it!

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