I thought I could handle know that Greg is going back over seas. I really did. well we've know since the begining of the year but nothing has really ben said about it, til yesterday. Last night Greg calls and tells me that he'll be going to a different base next month's drill and that he'll most likely be leaving before Evan's 3rd birthday which is august 7th. I have made myself numb against the whole situation until Earlier when I read a post that said we should give thanks, and it showed a bunch of soliders in an airport from what I see. I broke down in tears. I don't know if I can do this again. It will be different this time. I'll have my family and his and my kids but I won't have him. right now I feel like I can't do this. What if something happens to him? what if he doesn't come back? there's so many things that can happen and they are all going through my mind. I can't stop them. I don't know how to. I just don't know what to do anymore. I always knew it would happen, I knew that he wanted to go back over and serve. I also know that it's the only thing he feels he is good at. So what if he's good at it DAMN IT. He's also good at as a Dad and Husband. What if something happens to him, then what happens to us. I have to do his furneral and have another solider hand me a flag. What would I tell my kids when they ask about their father. What then?

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Apr. 21, 2008 at 9:23 AM Oh hun!  I hate deployments!! I know all these what if's will run through your head but try to keep them at bay. I'm sure everything will be fine and he will come home safe. Try and enjoy your time together before he goes. Maybe you could find a support group on here that could help too. I know everytime my hubby would deploy it would be hard on all of us. I would tell my daughter that Daddy is like a superhero, he had to go off to protect the country and keep us safe. Now that he is in the reserves I keep my fingers crossed that he won't have to go, but I know I'm probably just denying the truth. If you ever want to talk send me a note!!

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