My husband has finally decided to schedule his surgery, after more than a year of putting it off. He doesn't really have a choice in the matter at this point, since his insurance is being cut off very soon, and it won't be covered at all after that point. We will still have to cover part of the portion that insurance doesn't cover, but at least it wouldn't be the whole thing. His mother (my MIL) seems to be finally coming to terms with the fact that he actually does have a tumor, which is good because finally I stop being blamed for his headaches and stress.
It turns out it's worse than they anticipated originally. They originally said it was slow growing, and that it would be years before it would kill him, and apparently in one year it's more than doubled it's size, it was originally the size of a quarter, and it's now moved into his brain. It was a circle just outside the brain, and now it's passed the brain sac, and it's now triangular shaped, and growing into his brain itself.
The surgery is set for wednesday, and he will have to leave the house around 5 am, in order to get there by 6. I have no idea when he will actually be in surgery, or how long it will take. They also want to keep him 2 days apparently in order to make sure there are no complications, meaning I will have to sleep alone, and take care of the baby alone... I'm not really happy about that.
I'm also very very torn about it, because I want to be there, before and after his surgery. I want to be there the entire time, but at the same time I'm not really sure how to handle a baby at the hospital all day long, with no movies, limited toys, no space for him to crawl etc. I'm still breastfeeding, and he hates babyfood, and refuses bottles and sippy cups, so I feel backed into a corner. I'm considering trying to allow him to sleep in his stroller, but I don't know how well that will work out. I keep thinking, if something happens I would feel horrible for not being there, being there is the right thing to do, but I just don't know how to make this work. I've never had to do this before. Not to mention the hell I will catch if I'm not there, his mother will never let me live it down.Even though they say it will more than likely go smoothly, I can't help but panic. I guess it's reality setting in.
If anyone has any suggestions or words of encouragment, I could really use them.
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