As they day grew closer and closer i became more and more terrified of going into the drs office for my ultrasound. i have a son already and i love him to death and would never trade him any girl in the world....but i have always wanted a girl to dress up and do all that cute stuff with. i've been thinking about our life and where we want to go from here and we have decided that we don't want to have any more babies after this one. there are too many things that we want to do and i think two is the perfect number of kids for us. its not that i wouldn't love another little boy but it saddened me to think that i might never get that little girl to do all those things with. i am really close with my mom and wanted to have that kind of relationship with my daughter should i have one. i didn't want to ask god for a little girl because i felt that was selfish of me and i would love this child no matter what. but i couldn't help feeling that i would be irrationally upset if it was a boy. and i really didn't want to feel that way. so i decided to ask god to not let me be disappointed no matter what gender this wonderful blessing was. i had a hard time getting excited about the whole experience because of this fear. i was so nervous going in and thankfully it was first thing in the morning. we go in and my dr has this wonderful skill for zooming in on the sex first thing. ITS A GIRL!!! i thought i would be giddy with excitement but i was very calm. i had prepared myself for a boy but all along i had really known it is a girl. i always referred to the baby as she and her name came to me in a wierd epiphany moment that made me think it had to be a girl so she could have that wonderful PERFECT name. but at the same time i didn't want to say i know it is a girl because i would probable just be getting my hopes up oe jinxing it. maybe i am in shock! i have watched the video of the u/s sound several times and it is definately a girl. it just doesn't seem real. its too perfect they way our family plans are working out. like it is too good to be true. maybe having a shower and getting a bunch of pink stuff will help. we haven't even finished building her room!!! it all just doesn't seem real!! anyway. that is my long post. all to the its a girl point and her name will be Emma Louise Helen Wright. I can't wait to meet you little girl!
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