No one ever says that when you decide to have children that you decide to relive your life.  You remember that math you hated, here you go you get to relearn it again.  Were you socially inept, reclusive, a loner?  Well now you get to teach  your children all the things you never learned and hope their way is easier.  How do you tell your child that its okay if  Sally or Sue doesnt like you, be your own best friend, when you didnt believe it then and dont believe it now.  How do you teach the life lessons that you still struggle to learn?  How do you let them be the best they can be when you are not living up to that same potential?  Don't eat that! Don't say that!  Be smarter, brighter , faster, more popular, more MORE!  For godsake dont be me. Dance! Dream! Question! Live!  I didnt.  Noone says that you have to be more than you want to be so that you are just like susie's mom.  Susies mom reads to the class, bakes cookies, makes goodie bags, volunteers for girl scouts, sells the most cookies, takes you to the mall and wears the latest fashions, keeps a perfect home, clean, fresh, neat, warm, homey, perfect, drives the perfect car to the perfect job and makes it home in time to cook the perfect meal.  She is presentable at all times and you never pretend she isnt your mom or that she couldnt make it to the moms tea, she is all the things you were promised and instead you got me.  Noone says that being a mom showcases all your faults daily, flaunts your shortcomings to be graded daily, judges you by a ruler that leaves you short everytime.  Why do I feel the need to constantly apologize that this is what you got and apologize with stuff so that atleast you know that I can give you things even if I cant give you perfection. How do I teach you not to be me.

Tags: parenting, motherhood, lies, raising kids

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