The Waiting.....

[pfcpremosgirl]

Well, the deployment is under three months to go now....and that's when the waiting become unbearable. I am hopeful that our reunion will come quickly, but I remember last time, and how long the end feels. I am praying it remains peaceful where he is in Iraq, but you never know. The boys have grown so much over this past year, I am afraid the kids won't jump right on daddy when he comes home. The baby has gone thru most of his first year without him here, though I have tried very hard to keep his picture and voice in his life as much as possible. The four year old tells me he misses daddy and its plain to see that his awful acting out and anger is the result of his daddy not being here. My 15 yr old is beyond my control at this point, and will be leaving soon to stay with family in South Carolina....we all need a break I think from him. And he from us. I love him, but sometimes the best thing you can do for your child is also the hardest and most painful....and thats the case here. Maybe when my husband comes home we can finally settle into a happy routine. But I know from the first deployment that war can change a man. I know he loves us, and God how we love him, but it will take some time to readjust, this I know and remember all too well. I'm not pretending it'll be some fairytale from the getgo. But in time, we'll get back to a typical American family again. With faults, issues and problems, BUT SOOO MUCH LOVE!! I just want to hold him, look at him, touch him and be with him again. Its been a looong and very lonely year. In less than three months, I'll have him home....safe and sound, God willing...........