I need to vent............I just kicked my husband out!!

[Godstar]

My husband and I have been together for eleven years, and he continues to be sorry for doing the same thing every week!!  Since 1997, every weekend he would have to go out staying out pass 4 am every-time.  Eventually he got to the point of leaving for days at a time without contacting me or answering his cell phone-  then he comes home whenever he gets ready apologizes and expects everything to be great!! 

I am sorry to say that he does have a cocaine problem, he has been to rehab twice and relapsed quickly after getting out both times.  He does not want help anymore, and he has accepted being an addict!! 

I have four boys by him 10, 8, 3, and 1 years old, and stupid me is seven months pregnant with our fifth son!!  He can't keep a job, and I am the only stable parent my kids know!!  I do not want my kids to grow up and think that their daddy is what a man is supposed to be!! 

We have separated a few times in these years, but never longer than a few weeks.  However the last time I left him, I moved in with my mom for a month and started over this past January. 

In February, I moved into my home and I stupidly took my husband in a week later.  He promised to be a great husband and father this time.  No going out and abandoning us for days at a time, he started reading the bible and pretended like he wanted to go to Church-until Sunday or Wednesday came then he would make an excuse. 

Since February 16, 2008 every week he has went MIA (missing in action) for at least three days at a time!!  Then return with a puppy-dog face, and blame it on the devil and want to live the next few days like nothing happened!! 

Just this last Monday morning, I left to bring the kids to school, daycare, and then I went to work.  He walked us out, and said that he wanted to see about this job that was in the Sunday paper while we were gone.  He promised yet again to be right back, but we never heard from him until 2:00 am Thursday morning!! 

He banged on the door, and then my window.  I refused to open the door for him, and he whined about being sorry and begged to come in!!  Thank God I never gave him a house key, or put him on the new lease!! 

I told him go back wherever he had come from, and he just continued to knock on all the windows-waking up the kids on a school night and telling them to let him in!!  All the kids were screaming and crying, and I called the police!! 

They came right away, and listen to our bullshit.  He actually told them the truth, and they made him leave.  He walked to my house, and they told him to take off walking back- and not to come back!! 

I finally calmed the kids down, and we all went back to bed.  A hour later my telephones started blowing up, so I turned the ringers off and went to sleep!! 

This morning I checked the messages, and he threatened me saying that he had walked to the Circle K up the road and I needed to come pick him up right away or we would never see him again.  He must have gotten frustrated after I didn't answer the phone, or show up at the gas station so his last message said that he was going back to his mothers house where he is loved and good luck with your new baby!! 

Today at work, I was very upset and fought hard to hold back the tears.  He just doesn't get it, he has hurt me every week of every year we have been together!!  I am the one who doesn't feel loved, the kids know that he loves them they just don't understand why he leaves all the time so they are extremely hurt too!!
 
I can't take this stress, it is bad for my unborn baby- my blood pressure is very high and I am having panic attacks!!  I try not to think about delivering alone, and raising five boys alone but I can't help it!! 

On my lunch break today, I grabbed all of his things, and dropped it off on his mothers porch!!  Thank God no one was home!!  I have had enough of him, and my child support papers went in the mail today!! 

If he does not want to work fine, throw him in jail!!  Maybe then and only then will he get off of the powder, and realize that drugs aren't the answer!!  His mother does it with him, and this life is all he has seen since birth he is now 33 years old!! 

I just needed to vent, thanks I feel better now!!

[cowgirl8119]

Apr. 24, 2008 at 11:37 PM Good luck, I hope everything works out for you and your little ones. Congrats on your awaited little one=)

[allaboutme2864x]

May. 2, 2008 at 2:45 PM Wow, i am so sorry you and your family will be in my prayers. Good luck and stay strong, and CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR PREGNANCY!