I know he doesn't understand exactly this whole breastfeeding bond. I know that he's uncomfortable with me breastfeeding this long anyway, but still. All I want is acknowledgement of my feelings and then something like, "It's okay." Is that too much to ask?

This is what I wrote in my email:

You know I just realized that I'm going to have to start weaning Christian a little after you come home. I don't think we're ready. :-( I'm already sad about it. I love breastfeeding him and I know he loves to breastfeed. I'm really glad I've already gotten to 16 months and I know that's a lot longer than some, but it still makes me feel sad. I hope it's an easy transition for him...and for me. :-(
This is what he responded with:
well,  I know you can do it, and as long as you don't make it a big deal, it won't be one.
The bolded part is what got me mad. I wrote him back and said I hated when he made comments like that. I feel like he thinks that I'm going to blow this whole thing out of proportion.
 I know I have to wean. I know this. It doesn't mean I have to like it. I feel like he thinks that I shouldn't be sad for having to wean. I think he thinks that weaning him is just like any other transition. It's just something you have to do.
Can't I feel sad and have him say it's alright to feel sad? That's all I want! That's why I vent to him. Not for a solution per se, but for him to say, I understand you feel [insert emotion], but it'll be alright. It's okay to feel [insert emotion].
You know what I mean? Am I overreacting?

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Comments:

WAHU_Mom
Apr. 27, 2008 at 3:04 PM

Wow - I am sorry that you are going through this at all - my hubby never once asked me to wean our son - granted he weaned himself pretty fast when he was done (too fast for my liking) but we agreed nursing was so important and as long as I chose to I would have his support 100%  Sorry but it drives me nuts when men comment on things like this - didn't mean to vent on you!

Take care!

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babyb...
Apr. 27, 2008 at 4:41 PM Men just dont understand those types of things. Mainly because they dont get to have that experience. I mean you have every right to be upset, I would be too, but at the same time you cant expect him to honestly know what your going through because he cant go through it too. He'll get his turn to feel sad about loosing a type of bonding. I hope you feel better and good luck with the weaning and when you leave =( That has got to suck bad that you have to leave just when he comes back.

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steph...
Apr. 28, 2008 at 9:43 AM He should support you but unfortunately men don't understand. My husband couldn't understand why I would sob having to leave my newborn for the first time. We all understand so don't feel bad:) Good luck.....

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