I have to start off with how much I love her

[whoops2]

I am having a baby girl in Aug I cant wait for the day I get to hold her and tell her i love her! But that day will also be heart breaking. Her mother and father will be there to tell her they love her.

 Let's begin with my 2 yr old daughter, Her name is Leah I had her when I was 17 ~young~ I agree. But everything worked out so gr8 for me, and I was blessed to be able to bring my Daughter home with me.. =) that day was a day I will never forget I was so ready to leave that freaking hospital haha.. ! she is doing gr8! She is smart, and pretty and very very 2.. ya'll should get that part. I found out i was having another baby in oct or nov. and i was scared out of my mind. i thought about abortion, but it's not me, I could not kill my unborn baby! I have known kid's to be a blessing not a sin. I fought with myself for a few month's trying to think of way's to keep this baby!!! But i couldnt. I being a single mother alone w one child is very hard.. and I am barley making enough money ..  I make 300 a month .. ! The father would not be around, He sadly has 4 kids that I was unaware of when I was w him he is is debt w child support with them. He cannt support another child. My current housing is at home w my mom and my dad! Them being in the 50's I dnt want to put this on them as well!! I could go on with why i cannot support. I dropped out of HS wen i had my daughter and still do not have my GED. But my top reason I am giving her up is BC i love her and I being her mother have to protect her.... Being a mother I want the best for my kids, best care, most love. Best protection and I cannot promise her that.!! Sadly to say as much as it hurts I cant..!!

. I found out how many couple's out there cant have kid's and have been waiting for yr's and have been looking to adopt....

I prayed about it, and i got a peace about this choice. So i new it was the best one, The Lord showed me, I was not ment to take care of this unborn child... !! When the Lord began to speak to me, I gave my life to him. and this has been very easy on me. I still have heart ache and tears but I have found a amazing couple to raise and protect my daughter..

I was told they could not have kid's bc the Father had the Big C when he was a child witch made him inable to reproduce..!! One's they found that out, They new adoption was there calling. And waited not for long, I came around pretty fast.!!

I think of the day I am holding my daughter in the hospital, and tell her how much I love her, and how much see means to me.. Try to member that baby smell she will have for such a short amount of time.!! I also think about those moments when her mother and father are lookin at her and i hand her over to them!! Letting my little brylee outta my hands for the last time.. Not being able to hold her close to my heart!!! I fear that pain will be so strong I wont want to live anymore... But I have to continue on with rasing my daughter Leah. And being a mother to her...!! I sumtimes think w-o her I  would feel no reason to live.. Bc how much pain i will be in..

 

But I no wen the time is right, I wil be able to reach out to my daughter and hold her close to my heart again!! That will be a while but that will be wen the time is right..

I love the family i have choosen I no they will love her, and tell her everything about Leah and I..

They will teach her God and the right ways!!

I have to end with saying how much I love my daughter Brylee Noel

 Please vote most popular!

 

[Spokenfor]

Apr. 30, 2008 at 10:07 PM

Hello. I happened upon your post sweetie and I too went through something similar. It was heartbreaking at the time and I went to counselling to deal with my grief, even though I knew it was the right decision. I wrote a post about it a while back...here is the link.

http://www.cafemom.com/journals/read/832240/Letter_from_a_Birthmother

If you need any support feel free to contact me. Blessings to you, Laura

 

[buppyluck]

May. 2, 2008 at 6:41 PM I am not quite sure what to say, reading your post touched me. I am sorry you have to give up your baby, but if you have made the right choice, I am sure the family that is getting your baby will love her to pieces, and it is wonderful that you will be able to be apart of her life. I wish you nothing but the best sweetheart!

[whitnicole]

May. 3, 2008 at 1:06 PM Adoption is a blessing to a family, you are doing a great thing.  They will take great care of your baby and the Lord will bless them and you in this venture.  My husband and I are able to have kids, and have had 2 wonderful boys, but we are also looking into adoption to give another child or two a loving home.

[twinpicks]

May. 7, 2008 at 11:15 PM

I cannot tell you what to do as I think that you need all the support you can get, I can't imagine being in your situation I have a cousin whose wife had difficulties getting pregnant after they adopted a boy she gave birth to her only child.  That child is lucky but not all adoption cases turn out for the best..

I only hope they will tell your child that he/she is special and unique and that another lady had to give her up due to unforseen circumstances and that one day they may allow her to meet you!

[I51504vett]

May. 7, 2008 at 11:16 PM

my hero... that is a great thing that you are doing! I am glad that you found a loving home. It will be a blessing for all involved.... I pray that you will have peace with your decision

[lovinmamaof2]

May. 7, 2008 at 11:31 PM You are such a good person for doing this!!!! I almost cryied reading this. There are so many moms out there who know in their hearts that they cannot take care of a baby and they have them anyways and then they dont do a good job. I think that for the "parents" of your baby they will probubly love her as much if not more than you would and I am sure that thy will be so greatful to you. A baby is a gift from god and you are their angel. I am very proud of you for making the right choice!!!!!

[vaughnalc]

May. 7, 2008 at 11:41 PM Your post brought me to tears.  I will pray for you and your baby. You are a very strong person.  It takes a very special person to do what you are doing.  I had a hard time getting pregnant with my first child and I know how that mother must feel.  You can't imagine the joy you will be giving her and her husband.  God did bless me with not 1 but 2 beautiful boys of my own, but adoption could have been a choice I might have had to make.  Their is a purpose for everything God creates and it sounds like God has used you in a special way to give a couple a gift only you could give them!

[ashybaby87]

May. 7, 2008 at 11:46 PM Wow! I'm so glad you're giving her up dor adoption rather than abortion! I know this must be so hard on you but you're doing what's best for your daughter & that makes you an incredible person! Good luck & i hope it all works out!

[whoops2]

May. 7, 2008 at 11:48 PM

I want to thank you all for ur comments!! they al have touched my heart.. =)

thank you so much

(Original Poster)

[aapye]

May. 8, 2008 at 12:12 AM your very brave and very strong , and I don't know you but you have my admiration