Dear wife: 
 
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. 
I've been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. 
These last 2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you 
quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home 
& didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal 
& even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & 
went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell 
me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us 
as husband & wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me
anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone. 
 
Your EX-Husband, 
P.S. don't try to find me, your SISTER & I are moving away to West 
Virginia together.  Have a great life! 

Dear Ex-Husband 

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true you & 
I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from 
what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your 
constant whining & griping. Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice 
when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that came to mind 
was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me not to say 
anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when 
you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY
SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk 
boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on 
them, and I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed
$50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt 
we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I 
quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica, but when I got home 
you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you 
have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the 
letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me. so take care.
Signed, 
Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell and Free at last! 

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born 
Carl. I hope that's not a problem

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Comments:

marie...
May. 1, 2008 at 12:13 PM ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks...you made my day!

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miko1982
May. 1, 2008 at 12:14 PM funny...lol

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lovej...
May. 1, 2008 at 1:33 PM ha ha that was funny!!!

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