I had the weirdest dream the other day... I wasn't even going to write about it, but I keep remembering it, so I think a purge is necessary.
My sister-in-law (not the one who can read this) stole my boyfriend. It's strange on so many levels.... one, the "boyfriend" in question wasn't my husband...or her husband... (in fact, I find it best not to say who it was.) One day, he and I are walking together, holding hands and such... then the dream fast forwards to the very next day, where the two of them are canoodling at the lunch table (can you tell this was a HS setting? But then not my HS, or the one where I work...and I've never seen her HS.) I was surrounded by random people (none whom I could pinpoint as friends who are making a cameo in my dream) asking me, "aren't you his girlfriend? you should do something." And I couldn't do a damn thing. I just walked away. I think I just woke up after that.
I have never had, nor will I ever have, feelings for my brother-in-law. I might have expressed an opinion soon after we met that since we were not going to be romantic, any relationship was useless, but that was because of a bad relationship in HS (you know who that is, Lise) I had trouble relating to men in any way other than sexually. My current brother-in-law helped me to be a friend. He saved me from myself in college-- granted, I was no saint, but I could have ended up a lot worse. I thank God every day for the brother who chose me in that family!
I am not friends with my sister-in-law. She associates with people who are in her best interests, and pretty much dismisses everyone else. Trouble is, sometimes those in her best interests change. I was jealous when she seemed to become good friends with one of my best friends growing up-- it was like a bad young adult novel: girl draws her two friends together, only to be ditched by both. Now my more aloof SIL talks to me because we were both house hunting in the same area, and they tried to help us get a rental home. The other one, basically because of physical distance, can't be in the conversation.
And then there's the "stealing of thunder." I'm not even part of the competition-- Matt and I married years before the other two, and we already have 3 kids (have I mentioned that WE'RE DONE FOR NOW?) It bothers me that one SIL is bothered, and the other doesn't seem to care.
But I digress... back to my dream.
Maybe I am in competition with this particular SIL. I don't want her money. I don't want to sit around the house spoiling my child (not that I have a problem with SAHMs: she just seems so fake when she's doing it!).
I think she stole my friend. He decided we couldn't talk anymore after he started dating her. I still remember the e-mail he sent that told me that my husband was my best friend. Of course he is.... but my best friend from college is totally different! Just like my best friend from HS is different. My best friend in life is my husband-- these people are not interchangeable.
Why a HS setting? A comment on how petty some conflicts are? Maybe a reminder of what a wimp I was in HS? And why am I upset with her and not him?
--Because it wasn't about him. It was something that went a long way back: me vs. her. Her goal was to eliminate me socially.
I swear, in real life she is not out to "get me." I don't even think I register on her radar. That's why it's so weird. Do I want to be in competition with her? I can think of one way in which that will work. But it doesn't seem to be happening. At least, not yet. Maybe the dream was meant to kick me in the ass, tell me that I am as good as they are. I dare say I'm better, because not only am I good at what I do, I actually enjoy it.
Some answers, and some new questions... I may have to revisit this in a couple weeks...