Baby Blues

[LynNZach]

After 6 years of doing every infertility treatment and 1 failed adoption my wish came true.  In one instant and one positive test all the sadness, although will always be a part of me, was replaced with what in my lifetime will be considered a miracle.  My 3% chance was a beautiful, healthy little boy.  Why I suddenly got pregnant au natural no doctor could tell me but I swore in my heart that I would never ask for more.   I know how it felt to want.  To long. To cry.   But I never thought it would all go by so fast.  Maybe it is the many recent "milestones" he has reached which have led him from baby to toddler to...gasp! ....little boy?  I don't know.   But I know I do not like any of it.  What I do know is it is not a matter of  "wanting more".  I just want time to slow down time with Zach.  Walking in his bedroom tonight and seeing a real bed made us both sad.  My husband said not to change anything else.  I wanted to just put everything back the way it was.  He looked so lost in the bed.  The sad truth is I know one day it won't be big enough.  I guess I must just be having my own sort of growing pains these days.  I am sure every mom goes through them and some of them are just harder then others.   

My Miracle

Have you ever seen a miracle,
Beheld one with your eyes,
Seen the magic & the mystery,
The wonder & surprise?

Have you ever touched a miracle,
With your fingertips?
Have you ever kissed a miracle,
Brushed one with your lips?

Have you ever held a miracle,
Gently in your arms?
Knowing that you must protect,
This precious gift from harm?

Have you ever loved a miracle,
Loved right from the start,
Loved with all your being,
Loved with all your heart?

I have done all these things,
I do them everyday,
I see my miracle grow & learn,
I see him laugh & play.

 

[cfh72]

May. 5, 2008 at 12:48 AM

I know exactly how you feel........I still have my 3 1/2 year old in a CRIB, and I know it's time to take it down.  The other day I was going through her winter clothes, CRYING, as I was folding them and putting them in a bag to give to a friend, because she is my last baby girl (out of 3), to have worn them. 

I truly know what the word "bittersweet" means when I have these moments.  Yes, we miss our babies, but on the other hand, I pray to God every night to please let me live to see them reach their adulthoods.....

[CrystalRenee34]

May. 5, 2008 at 12:59 AM

Awww! You two are so sweet! That touched my heart. Happy Mother's Day to you both!

[MollysMom517]

May. 5, 2008 at 11:14 AM Oh I'm sitting here crying now...that poem was so nice!!  They do grow up so so fast....I can't believe that in 2 weeks my little girl is going to be 1.  lol...yet I still have the nice stretch marks and spider veins and flab that comes with her.  You will have so many more milestones to reach with him now!!