Here is my dilemma. I am daycare for my daughter who works 40+ hours a week as a single mom raising her 3 children. Her oldest is 12 turning 13 in December. The oldest is in the I know it all stage and if you don’t agree I am going to argue with you about it. This happens all the time to both my daughter and me. She never challenges her grandpa or uncle in what they say. But if they do say something to her about things we get the flood of tears and “You always pick on me.”

I was lucky and never had to deal with this with my daughter so I am at a loss of how to handle it with my granddaughter or how to advise my daughter how to handle it. We have tried everything from grounding her to taking her cell phone away to early bed times and heaven only knows what else and she is fine for maybe if we are lucky 3 days then it is back to the same routine.

Does anyone have any suggestions what to do? I don’t care if you are an older lady who had to deal with it or one who acted this way and your mom did something that worked with you. I just am at my wits end on how to deal with it. Thanks for any and all help.

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May. 5, 2008 at 1:20 AM I know this may sounds crazy but...have you considered rewarding her good behavior? Because she is "growing up" and lots of changes are taking place...she may need some alone time with either you or her Mom (preferably her Mom) -- unless you are closer to her. Since she has siblings who are younger she may feel a bit left out when it comes to getting attention. I think it's really important to find a way to handle this now and to keep the lines of communication open so it is good you are reaching out to try and find ways to do so. Maybe you could speak with her (alone) -- not when things are crazy or in the middle of an "episode" but when things are calm and going well and just be straight with her...let her know what you have seen, how you have felt and what you expect. Let her know if she behaves they way you expect her to that you and/or her Mom would like to do something special with her alone once a week. It could be to take her window shopping at the Mall for an hour, out to eat (even something simple like fast food) or to buy her something...anything that will give her some "adult" (pre-teen) time with you all without the little ones around. You know, you could punish her but I really think if you let her know that the ONLY behavior acceptable is what you tell her and do it when she's not actually acting may see some results! Good Luck!! Let us know how it goes, okay?

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May. 5, 2008 at 10:39 AM Thank you LB128f I will definatly suggest this to mom.  I know they spend time together every other weekend when the younger 2 are gone with their dad but what you suggested must might work.

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