My Anniversary

[Tigger013169]

I was married the first time at the age of 15 for 15 yrs. I wanted to really get away from my mom which was abusive. Little did I know that my husband was going to be abusive too. I finally got the courage to leave him. Well, sort of. We were still in the same house, just that I had the bedroom and he had the futon. Well I had been looking for someone else online. Locally mainly but that hadn't gone so well. I "met" a nice guy that lived in WA on May 11th. I just opened up to him like he was an old friend. He was so supportive with everything. Well my anniversary was coming up. May 15th. My soon to be ex decided to invite me out for dinner and a movie "as friends only." I didn't enjoy myself. It was uncomfortable plus the movie was one he wanted to see and I didn't. When we got home I went to get ready for bed. Well he followed me into the bedroom. He had THAT look about him. I started to get scared which was normal for me. Then I decided that this was going to stop right here and now. I screwed up my courage and went at him. I brought my knee up scant inches from his manhood (he was blocking the door out) and told him that I was leaving. He started to smile this evil smile when he looked into my eyes. I guess he saw something in them and moved out of the way and let me pass. I went to the car, got in and left. I wasn't to the main road before I was shaking all over and crying. I drove slowly to walmart, bought a calling card and called that nice guy in WA for the very first time. You see, I wasn't allowed to have friends, I wasn't allowed to drive until I was almost 19 yrs old, I wasn't allowed to do much of anything. So for me, this guy that I had just met online only 4 days earlier was about all I had as far as a friend went. He listened, he comforted, his voice was so soft and kind. It helped me so very much. I calmed down and went home. Once I was safe in my bedroom, I called him back to let him know it was ok.

I filed for divorce not knowing where I would go or what I would do. I wasn't allowed to finish high school or even get a GED. I had 3 kids. My own family wanted me to change my mind. They wouldn't help me. You see, we were good at hiding the bad things and making it look like we were the perfect family. My own family didn't know. His family didn't know either. I continued to talk (ok pour my heart out) to that kind guy in WA named Greg. I started to really love him as a friend. He was still married but separated from his wife. He knew some of what I was going through. We decided to exchange pictures and write snail mail to each other. He wasn't the best looking guy but by this time I was in love with him for much more than friends. We had so much in common and were such close friends. He made me laugh. I decided right there that no matter what he looked like, I was in love with him and I wanted to be with him. I asked him if I could come visit him. He was scared, said to wait another month, which I did. Then I went to visit him the end of June.

We hit it off right away. I was so shy, so beaten down mentally that the only thing I really saw when I got off the plane were the fish on the floor. I rode to his apt looking at my feet. He was so supportive, so kind. He really helped by not pushing me to do anything. He helped me open up, to become a better person. To feel so much better about myself. I started looking people in the face, I started dressing better, the outfits he bought complimented me instead of hiding me. He introduced me to the world of plays. We went to the 5th Ave Theater in Seattle to see Les Miserable. It was wonderful!!! I loved it!!! He was just so different from the men I knew. He didn't hunt (couldn't even if he wanted to because of his hearing), he didn't drink, he wanted to show me the world. When it was time to go home, we made plans to move in together with my kids. He flew home with me to meet the kids. They had talked on the computer, on the phone. We took a trip for my daughter's birthday to Disney World. Well the girls weren't too happy with Greg. He "walks weird" they said. He has a curved spine. "He has a hard time hearing us." He is hard of hearing. "He doesn't act like other guys we know." He isn't a country boy, that is for sure. Plus (although I didn't like it either) he dressed funny. I mean FUNNY!!! He had soccer socks on with shorts (ok if you are playing soccer but not everyday!!) He had green coach shorts (ok if you are coaching but not everyday). I was still so scared of ruining this great relationship I had that I didn't even say something. We did have a blast and at least my son was happy with Greg.

We moved up to WA. It wasn't easy. My ex (divorce final in Aug) decided to go with us!! Greg had flown back and was working. I hated the idea of being in a car across country (we were in FL) to WA. I drove and drove until I couldn't anymore, which happened to be South Dakota when I passed out.

The kids weren't happy in the city. Greg was trying too hard to be their dad. I started talking to my ex, which knew exactly what to say, what buttons to push. I decided to go back. We got on a bus and made the journey back. HUGE MISTAKE!! I wasn't there an hour off the bus before he started cutting me down. He was going to make me pay for "cheating on him." I then realized that I belonged with Greg, not him!!! I was back in WA in a week. Minus the kids again.

Little did I know what was going on back in FL. I talked to the kids at least once a day. I tried to talk to my ex but the kids always said he was too busy or gone or whatever. My sister called me one day. The kids were not doing ok, their grandmom was going to call CPS on her own son!! I told her to take the kids until I could get back there. I flew back and had no place to go. We stayed with family while we tried to figure out what to do. I found out I was pregnant. I was on the phone with Greg. I was so excited that all I could get out was that there was a line (which he had no idea what I was talking about and it was the plus or minus test). I finally told him but he was so quiet. I got scared. He was crying. He was so happy. The drs had told him he would never have kids when he was a kid.

He finally came to get us, it was Christmas time. He brought presents for the kids that we had picked out together and also planned on getting for them. My ex made it hard on us. He made it so we only had 30 minutes to give them their presents and everything because he had a policeman standing right outside our room. He was afraid that we would take the kids and run. Why? I don't know. He was going to fly them up after the holidays. Which I wasn't happy about but dealt with. We loaded up everything in a trailer this time. We got a call from my daughter. She was going with us, she threw such a big fit that they wanted her gone.

The kids came back, we bought a book on step parenting and that helped a lot. Greg proposed to me on Feb. 15th (the ring wasn't ready in time for Valentine's Day). I of course, said yes!! I got him to get a divorce, helped him fill out the paperwork. He lost his high paying job. We ended up having to move. The divorce was final in April. We got married on May 11th. I was 6 months pregnant.

He finally got a job after the baby was born. His son. I got pregnant again (an accident) 3 months after having the baby. But we were happy anyways. Things were getting better. He was trying to bond with my girls and doing a great job with my son. We got our car stolen. It was found damaged a week later. We moved again because things weren't going right with the landlord of the house we were at. We traded in the jeep for a van. We moved again to a bigger house after our daughter was born. He lost his job due to Sept. 11th. It was a insurance company and they were losing money. We were forced to move to FL to stay with my family. The journey was hard on all of us. We had to go the long way around, down to Cali then across since it was the end of January. We stayed from Feb to Oct. I was forced to leave my older kids there. We drove back to WA hoping Greg's contacts would help us to find a job. We still couldn't find one. He ended up being a car salesman. We ended up letting go of our van, couldn't afford it anymore. We got a tiny little car. I had a miscarriage, it was hard on me and Greg. I was so depressed and upset for months. I decided to try to have a baby. It took 10 months and the help of clomid (drug to help me but also made me moody and have signs of pregnancy that didn't turn out to be for many months). I finally got pregnant and was so scared something was going to happen to the baby, that I would miscarry again. I ended up getting sick. I had blood clots that went to my lungs. I was so scared. I was only about 12 weeks pregnant. They wanted to do a CAT scan and I was more worried about the baby than myself. I know it was early but I felt her (didn't know it was a girl) move. She gave me comfort and support. I was in the ICU for a few days even. The pregnancy went fine after that. I had a perfect baby girl. One day Greg got an offer for a job. He drove up there and they gave him a job. So he quit the car sales. He ended up getting into a accident. It messed up the car but he didn't get hurt. Since we had this job that paid much better lined up, we bought a newer car. Well the job lasted less than a month. The company was in trouble. So now we were stuck with nothing again. And couldn't go back to car sales either. At least not where he was before. We lost our apt. We ended up on his parents' doorstep with no place else to go. We then went to a shelter. They helped us get into a low income housing developement. We had to let the car go. It was so hard on me, I don't like buses but that is the only way we could get around. I also got pregnant again. It wasn't going right though and I ended up having a miscarriage. But it was in the tube and ended up needing to get my tube taken out. We decided that it would be better to get the other side tied. We took the bus for about a year. Greg's mom would come and take us to dr appointments and once a week to the store. He found a job and we had hopes it would last. We bought a old van from the owner of the store. It was better than the bus. We moved into a house. Needless to say, when we paid off the van, he decided that Greg wasn't needed until next summer. So he again went back to temp jobs.

He finally got a job back in computers!! The only thing is that it was in ND. We would have to leave all our friends and family. We knew this would be best for us. So we moved. Greg made a friend here at the new job and he helped us buy a nice van. We left the old van since it would have never made the trip. We get here and are only here for a month when the company said they would be moving us all to MN. Well I had a bad feeling about the move and Greg did too. So we decided not to move. Greg went for about 2 months and came home when he could catch a ride with someone else coming back to visit their family. He finally got a job here!! We are now looking to find a house of our own.

It has been 8 yrs and there has been so much that we have been through together. It hasn't been easy. But I feel I have never been happier than these years that I have been with Greg. Even when we have been in the middle of bad times. I have always been so blessed with my kids and Greg. I always went to sleep knowing we had each other and that was all that mattered. He is trully my soulmate. We may have been a country apart but something brought us together for a reason. The hardships have not pushed us apart but have drawn us closer together. I love Greg like I do my very own children!! I hope to have many more years with Greg!!!

Taken Dec. 2006

Thanks so much for reading!!

[steamtrain1003]

May. 7, 2008 at 9:45 PM Holy cats woman have you been thru a lot!  I am so glad that you found your soulmate.  Its so hard to leave an abusive situation - I am proud of you for doing so!  I don't know where women who do that find the strength.

[DixieRose1863]

May. 10, 2008 at 4:21 PM You two make a great couple. The hard times make the wonderful times a blessed event.

[Boost]

May. 14, 2008 at 12:45 PM You guys are a great looking couple and look so happy.  You have been through so much.  Life threw hard stuff at you and you turned it around each and every time.  I hope and wish for all the great things life has to offer to you two.