I Dont Know How To Feel.
- 7 Comment(s)
- 103 Total Views
This is my first entry and I am afraid it will be a long one! I am 19 years old and I have a 1yr old daughter. I raise her by myself with the occasional help from my family. Her father has not seen her since Thanksgiving and that was definitely not my decision! I am still really young and at times I feel that having my daughter is more of a burden than a blessing! I have such a hatred for her father sometimes for leaving this huge responsibility up to me! Its hard to connect with her some days because i just wonder what my life would be like now if I did not have her. Don't misunderstand me I love my daughter with everything inside of me but It is so hard for me sometime to look at her and see her father. I had so many hopes and dreams for my life and then it was all taken away from me in a heart beat it seems like. I don't know anyone else who has these feelings and I feel like a bad mom. I don't know how to get past the hurt.
- Written by: Jitterbug001
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- May 8, 2008 at 3:25 PM103 total views
Comments:
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You are not a bad mom. Even those of us who had kids later feel like failures sometimes. You just need to remember that she relies on you and you have to do whatever you can to make not only her safe and happy but you safe and happy. I want to GIVE my kids away and they are teenagers! You will be okay, some guys just aren't cut out for it! This is NO reflection on you. I am not young but I can understand and listen.. (for what that is worth...kinda like you pay for what you get....) Anyway, I am here if you want!! You are a good mom! |
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There's nothing wrong with the way you feel about the father. You will have times when you are afraid but in the long run you have a great gift from God in your daughter. I was 18 when my oldest child was born and terrified but he is 16 now and I wouldn't trade a day of his life for anything. He was a blessing to me and you will find a real man who will want to be both a husband and a father. I did and you will too. |
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I am not quite in the situation you are but I have simialr feelings. I am 23 & have 2 boys ages 2 & 3. I had my first son 12 hours before I turned 20. My bf & I got married 4 months before he was born. We were already thinking about it it just got moved up a year. Now I have the support of the dad which I know can be a big help but I still feel a lot of what ifs. I look ay my boys & think what would I be doing or what job would I have if I didn't have kids right now at this stage of my life? I love them but I want so much to go to school but just financilly its not in the cards. maybe in another 2 years when they are in school or we have everyhting paid off debt wise but it seems long time from now. You are not a bad mom. I have thought bad things to but when you get a hug & a kiss or an I love you so much mommy it helps make those thoughts go away. It is hard but someday things will be better & we can achieve the things we want. |
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I know that your young, but enjoy the time you have with her while she's young. You will miss it so much when she's 6, 8, 10 years old and talking back to you and starting to have boyfriends in school. I have a friend who has a 12 year old daughter. She also had her daughter when she was 19, and she regrets not spending that time with her when she was younger. It's not your daughters fault that her father is not in the picture. She's innocent in all of this, so please give her all the love she deserves. I don't completely believe in God, but I do believe that children are a gift to us from God. I am 33 and I have a 7 month old. I have wanted children since I was your age, I just never found the right person or good friend to have a baby with till now. Do ask your family for more help. Go out with friends. Also, find some young Mothers in your area who are in the same situation as you are. You'd be surprised how many of them feel the same way you do and are most likely in the same situation that you are also. Just because you have a little girl, doesn't mean that you can't be what you want to be. Go to college, get financial help. Being a single Mom, there are so many government programs, including they will pay for childcare that you can sign up for. Make sure to sign up for WIC and apply to your local junior college and for their financial aid to cover your schooling. It's amazing what some single mothers have accomplished. If your still regreting having her, then there is adoption. |
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Thank you for your input. I don't regret having my daughter just sometimes wish I could have postponed it a few years. I Could never give her up for adoption either. I accept my responsibilities and face my challenges head on. And one day I will master this too! |
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Well, I admire you-- you seem to be a strong, intelligent, hard working woman & you will be a great role model for your daughter. Everyone has those days & even the best moms think they're the worst sometimes, it is vital to take it one day at a time & remember you aren't alone in your feelings. Good luck to you! |
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I got pregnant at 17. My sons father has NEVER seen my son. By his own choosing mostly. Somedays I get frustrated and feel like my boy is a burden. But I love him. And what matters is that you love your daughter with all your heart. Remember, we live in the USA, no dream is unfulfilled unless you don't try. YOu can do anything you want to do. Opportunity is endless and you are still young. I'm 19 now and I'm finally seeing that my son, though he makes some things more difficult to achieve, can never stop me from achieving my dreams. He IS my dream. Maybe you should seek therapy if you are really concerned about yourfeelings. It helped me a ton. |
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