Why??

[angeljennasmom]

Why is it that my life is going the way it is.My DH just almost went to jail cause he has a fauiler to appear in cali I've been tellin him to take care of it but no he doesn't listen to me.So now he has a warrent out for his arrest. I don't know what I would do if he went to jail I can't take care of our daughter on my own.I can't do much anymore cause my R.A. is getting to bad I can barely make it through the day till he comes home.On top of it all I am really confused about my feelings and my body right now and I have no one to talk  to about it. I can barely sleep at night cause all I do is think of how far along I would be and that I would be feeling my baby kick and move all the time.I miss that feeling I know I never got to feel it with the pregnancy I couldn't wait for the day that I felt the first movement of my baby.I miss her so much more and more everyday.It makes me very sad to see brand new babies but it hurts more when I see women that are at the point I would be and they are complaining that they don't wanna be preg any more. I just want to hit them.I can't stand that I tried for so long to have my daughter and then I got preg so soon I was so happy to have it taken away and theres all these people out there that are preg and don't want the baby.Well I'm gonna cut this short before I get any madder.

[LittleJoes]

Aug. 20, 2008 at 9:36 PM

I understand what you are going through.  When I lost my son at birth I almost had a nervous breakdown in the OBGYN"s office at my first appt. after I had lost him.  I had to sit in a waiting room with tons of other pregnant women when I had just lost my baby.  It was just heart wrenching.  I kept seeing pregnant women everywhere thinking how pregnant I would be at that point and so forth.  I know what you mean about walking around always thinking about how far along you would have been.  Gosh I have so been there and can feel your pain like it was yesterday.  Just keep thinking it will get better.  I PROMISE YOU that.  When your due date passes things will start to look up a little because you will not be constantly thinking of how pregnant you would have been.  I can imagine one of the hardest things must have been reliving your story over and over again to friends after you lost your angel.  Because of course you need to tell everyone you are no longer pregnant.  And please ignore some of the ignorant comments you may get from others like "well you can always try again" or "at least you have one child already" and so forth.  I got them all and I wanted to punch people.  The don't understand and they never will get what you have been through.  It is so hard to understand why people who abuse children have these healthy babies yet someone like yourself lost one.  Don't beat yourself up thinking about that.  It makes no sense and never will.   Please pm me if you want to talk.  I'm so sorry for your loss.  I know our two angels are in heaven playing together.  ((HUGS))  Niki