I am going to apologize in advance for this posting.  I know that there are alot of people with bigger battles than mine.  I am turning 50 this year and I feel useless, sad and alone.  My kids have their own lives and families and don't seem to have time for me....I can't seems to reconnect with my husband who I love very much and "miss".  We live together but I feel like his roommate instead of his wife.  I have stepchildren issues....I lost my mom, my sister and my dad all within 2 years and I haven't been able to get out of this funk!I am 60 pounds overweight, I know I need to take it off but I just don't have the emotional stamina to acheive it.  I AM A MESS!  Boy do I sound pathetic.  I don't normally do things like put my thoughts out there for others to see but someone above (I believe) led me to this site so that I could "talk" about what is going on.  I need help and maybe just a friendly ear will do the trick.  I probably need to see a doctor and get something for depression but isn't that just another sign of failure and weakness?  I don't even have the energy to decide that. 

So very frustrated all I want to do is cry!

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tiffa...
May. 10, 2008 at 12:09 PM hey..we all at some point in our lives feel this way, i had my worst time a year ago and felt like the walls were closing in on me with no one on the other side. I really recommend finding a book called " you can heal your life" written by louise l Hay....it changed me forever, in-fact it saved my life and my soul...please try to find, there are copies on E-bay if you shop there. Since reading that book and i'm not exaggerating, everyday i wake up with a smile....my days are peaceful again. If you ever need to chat you have a friend here in Canada....let me know if you find it.

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Nippi...
Jul. 26, 2008 at 3:43 PM

((((((HUGS)))))))I somehow (and I believe nothing is a coincidence) happened upon your journal.  I sort of feel as if I'm eavesdropping and should ask for forgiveness so please forgive the intrusion.  I know how you feel because I have been there.  I live 1,000 miles away from family and have never quite adjusted to this area so friends are almost non-existent.  Most people at this stage of life, have their own lives and friendships well established.  I also lost my dad, sister (and best friend), and dog.  Have mom issues, my son is 1,000 miles away, my daughters are here but all grown and stay busy with their activities and lives, I divorced my husband who was emotionally abusive to me (and unfaithful here and there) for 23 yrs, a homemaker most of my life and just starting a career, and just plain numb, depressed, menopausal, and sad.  I did much reading, and I still do, especially self-help books.  Louise Hay is AWESOME!!!  She also wrote Empowering Women.  I suggest, as the other writer who commented, reading those two books and talk to those you meet on this site.  I am so grateful for Cafe Moms :-)  Please know you also have my shoulder, ear, and friendship...anytime!!!  And DO cry if you need to!!!  As Louise says, "Tears are the rivers of life and are very cleansing".  So, get the books, tissues, and heal.  (((((HUGS)))))-again.    

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