Figured since it's mothers day I would post this once more. Only got 10 views anyways.
I became a mother March 26 of this year. That day is when the phrase," You'll never understand until your a mother,"became something that I understood. As the nurse handed my daughter to me, I began a journey that day that I've only begun to understand. I thanked God for giving me this blessing. Over the past month I have awoke daily and done the same. I have wondered what I did so right in all my life that would allow God to entrust me with such a wonderful gift.,motherhood. I have had the sleepless nights and the new mother worries and have missed my ability to go and come as I please. All worth it.
This morning I came to understand the uncertainties of motherhood. I came to understand what I, as a child, put my mother through. I came to understand what you only understand as a mother. Today my daughter turned a month old. Today seemed like any other day, I awoke to her crying for her morning feeding. After feeding her we had our morning awake time. We went to our rocking chair, as I rocked her and looked at her I began to see. I saw that as a parent my mother watched me grow and endure sickness, heartache, some tragedies, and rebellion. I never thought she understood what I went through, until today. Today I realized that as a parent you have to stand back and watch your child grow and go through all lifes down falls, and they may think you have no clue how hard it all is. Now I know that's not true. I looked at my daughter thinking about the years to come and all the things she will endure. Things like the falling and scraping her knee, sickness, first fight with a friend, first heartache........ I thought about how bad it will feel to watch her hurt, knowing that it's all a part of growing and a part of life. Thought about as I carried her back to bed, that not long from now, her fitting in my arms like this will only be a memory. Finally understood that as a parent you will hurt for your children more than they will ever know, finally understood that even though I never thought she did my mother knew my pain more than I would have ever believed.