I 've been contemplating my life and thinking about great mums...

One is no longer with us Aliza , whom I wrote about in a previous Journal and the other is my cousin..

Many yrs ago her husband followed her around the world and finally won her heart.  At the age of 26 she fell pregnant and returned after a 4 yr stay in Australia to Israel. 

Whilst finishing a Degree as a Dietician she was blessed with a second daughter and then a son. My cousin endured a healthy pregnancy and then Sadaam Hussein opened War on this country.

The Scuds rained down and her waters broke, rushing off to the nearest hospital she looked forward to a newborn son after 2 daughters.  The staff were mainly at home they were on emergency shift only the bare minimum stuck around.  The Patriots arrived with the American soldiers, they roamed the cities of Jerusalem and Tel Aviv and I sat on the side applauding the Americans that were far from home whom had courageously left the safety of their homes to protect us!

My cousin gave birth to a boy, what awaited her was the challenge of a life time.. She survived the yrs working hard to provide for her family and lived to endure life in the shadows of a country torn by war and suicide bombers.   Over the yrs everyone would see my cousin going to work, taking care of her family including a second son she gave birth to 15 yrs ago whom is still studying at High School.

My cousin was an inspiration for me the son she gave birth to during Saddam Husseins reign of terror has recently been put in a home for special young adults like himself.

Over the years her son whom is blind, and mentally retarded as a result of  hospital incompetence during the war endured lived at home with Foreign workers taking care of his needs and allowing her to work and provide for a better life for her children.   The hospital was sued and financially her sons needs were taken care of!!  She brought up 3 other children and I sat on the sidelines and watched.

Just recently I was informed she finally allowed her retarded, blind epileptic son to leave home. She went back to Australia on a brief visit after 24 years and returned preparing herself to start the next chapter in her life.

She has decided to leave her husband , I recall how he looked as a young man he had a kind soul and she was fortunate to marry into a wealthy family, his father was a tough man whom had endured the Holocaust and made his fortune in building which provided them with a home.. My cousin has endured a life of agony and suffered for the sake of her children with a man whose only crime was he loved her.  He is far from perfect and she has endured a marriage with a man whom will never be able to reach her but has at least thanks to his wealthy father enabled her to provide a comfortable home for her children.  

Its had me thinking about marriage and the sacrifices us women make to have a family,(it isn't the first time) and  those of us  whom are fortunate to have healthy children and stable marriages with partners whom are worthy of their efforts I am happy. But Ive been wondering if those sacrifices are worth staying in a marriage for or even if the concept of marriage is a value I would like to pass onto my daughters as I have endured only a fraction of what my cousin has and I didn't marry into a wealthy family.  Many years ago before my cousin gave birth to her retarded son I told her to stick it out and stay with her husband for the sake of her children and now Im wondering if I shouldn't pick up my bags and leave mine for good.  Im wondering if for me marriage is beneficial for my children as I have been a loyal wife with a husband whom doesn't value my contribution to our household!

Ladies I hope you all remain resilient in your goals and value what you have because if one has their health then they have everything and no amount of money can buy happiness!

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