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Dress Code ~ Conformity of Our Children
- May 14, 2008 at 11:59 PM
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- Comments (8) Total Views (199) Everyone can see this journal post.
Summer is approaching and before long, the kids will be languishing in the warm weather wearing shorts and t-shirts. Thinking about school uniforms at this point of the year might seem to be overkill but it is a survival method for our large family of six. Not all six of the members need to wear uniforms for school, however, the idea of busting my school year clothing budget on five identical shirts and finding the ever elusive khaki or navy, non-cargo, blue pants is daunting at best. Add in the frustration of finding the lightweight but warm, non-hoodie sweater for my perpetually chilly pre-teen and I want to take the responsible person for this severe dress code and shake him until the top three buttons of his non-logo collared shirt, pop off. That is, if he abides by his own imposed uniform allowances. I hear it often that the parents “absolutely love” the “dress code”. It makes life easier for them, there is no arguing over what to wear for school, there are fewer distractions in the learning environment, and it teaches responsibility. I, as a parent, protest for this is not a code or standard of dress but a push for uniformity in the public school system by parents and teachers too tired or lazy to deal with the few kids out there giving them a hard time. Please hear me out and try not to get your polo in a bunch.
Addressing the cost factor of the school uniform presents the first dilemma due to the likelihood that these items will be difficult to find and are rarely marked down to a reasonable price when 300 other kids from the same school need the same outfit and are shopping in the same places. Add in the rest of the county, shopping for the same items right down to the shirt in specific colors and a large portion of the girls are out there shopping for that size 0 to size 5 pant. But, alas, all that is left are the larger sizes appropriate for the poor adults that have to wear the same uniform for their lifelong job. One could argue that the massive organizations, of Wally World or Dollar Dictators, offer the same uniform options as the mall. Most certainly, the person with this wonderful bevy of information does not have their child in the clothing items from these stores due to the lack of quality of materials, the fact that they wouldn’t wear it themselves, and the anticipated protest on the part of their child. The cheaper versions of the school uniform articles are likely to made out of highly itchy and arguably, ugly materials that have been known to have no breathe or bend in them at all. Have you ever had to sit on the gym floor for 45 minutes waiting for any type of drill to end? That is the epitome of discomfort in polyester pants. Clothing is expensive despite the uniform. This is true, however, most parents would be able to stretch their clothing budget dollar if less restraints were put upon this yearly shopping experience that used to be an event that kids and parents looked forward to doing together. One can also predict that acquiring the school uniform too early in order to save money can also cause problems due to the fact that kids grow at alarming rates throughout the summer. The wonderful bargain that you found at the end of the school year sale won’t do you a bit of good if you have them try it on and base the size on that. One could buy the items in larger sizes and hope for the best. However, any parent with experience knows, that approach rarely worked with toddlers and the chances of it working with a growing teen is even more of a rarity.
The practicality of cost being addressed lets move along to the larger issue at hand. The school board has deemed dress code a necessity for a productive learning environment due to the lack of proper attire of some students. I will agree that a young man with his pant waist below his butt cheeks showing crack and the young lady with un-lady like navel exposure to show her new belly ring is distracting at best and needs to be addressed. I do not agree with the solution of creating a unisex army of indistinguishable drones with little to no outlet for self-expression. Part of becoming a responsible adult is to learn boundaries of modern society and learn the consequences of one’s actions when one moves past them. Being responsible also means to decide for one’s self if the chance is worth taking and to accept that consequence. The entirety of this country is based on great people that moved past the rules and regulations of constricting society to find freedom for their lives. Uniforms are sometimes a necessary part of daily life, but for the most part, we should be able to choose the uniform that we wear. Police officers, firefighters, and utility workers wear uniforms to identify to the public who they are. Lawyers, therapists, and many other careers wear the uniform of button ups and suits in most cases, to adhere to their professional appearance. Many food service oriented careers have the uniform of a black pant and white shirt. When someone chooses a career or job, they are making a choice to wear the uniform. To impose a uniform on a child for the excuse of better learning is counterproductive. It stunts the creative nature in the child and hinders their individuality. We are telling the student that they need to fall in line, learn the basics and move along.
Reading, grammar, math, and science are all very important subjects but so are the creative writing classes, drama, art, music, and languages. History and social studies are full of creative and interesting people, most of which would not be those who would fall in line with monotony of the dress code clones we are trying to create in our public school system of today. A standard for school dress should apply but going as far as to limit a pocket or color choice is too constrictive. Parents need to stand up for their child’s right to be a kid, to let their child experiment with their individuality within reason even at school. Adhere to a decent standard of dress set forth by the schools but still giving the child the freedom to choose their uniform for now and for their future. I believe that the school system is trying to give a false sense of private school style education by adding a uniform when the standard of education is still that of a public school. Adding the uniform attire does not a private school make, so why pretend that it does? Putting a uniform on a kid doesn’t deter them from being a bully, doing drugs, cutting class, or just being plain rotten if that is what they want to do. It just makes them “LOOK” like everyone else. Most children spend 8 hours a day, 200 days a year for 13 years in a public school system. They are told what to learn, when to learn it, when they can eat, when they can go to the bathroom, how to test, what to read, what to write about, what to draw, and how they are allowed to play at recess. If the parents are meeting their own responsibilities, the children should be at least allowed to pick out something other then a 3 button, collared shirt and pair of khakis to wear for the day. If they abuse the standard, then, apply the uniform. I know most children would rather follow a standard of dress then a have to wear a uniform. As a society, we need to stop stifling the creative nature of our children for if we continue in this manner, we will stop the ideas from flowing that advance our society for the future.
Simply imposing a uniform may not be the downfall of a child but add in all of the other ways we are already constricting the lifestyles of youth today and there is certain to be consequences that could have been avoided. We punish the whole of our children for the behavior of a few. One child shows defiance in class, the entire class puts their head down. One child starts a fight in a mall and the entire group gets suspended and children are banned from the mall until they are over 18. Poor behavior is not the only thing that imposes restrictions on our children but also health issues. I have witnessed one school “outlaw” PB&J for the allergy of one child despite the fact that many children who weren’t able to get free lunches at school relied on that inexpensive but healthful sandwich. What is good for one child is not always good for the whole. Our children today are severely overscheduled, over processed in their diets, and get less sleep then they need. Our society is already stunting their creative nature and ability to learn by not addressing those basic issues. This is a more urgent issue then the color of a shirt or the pocket on a pant. The uniformity of our children in this society will likely affect our future in adverse ways. It is time to reform our thinking about what the responsibilities of our schools are and how much conformity is healthy for a growing child. It is time to send a message that it is not healthy for the schools to have the power to decide that my little girl dress in clothing that is identical to the boy next to her. It is time to look at each child individually and decide what is best for that child alone. Parents, it is not just about the school uniform, it is about the conformity of our children. Make a stand as a parent, take back your responsibilities, and let the schools know that conformity for your child is not acceptable if it steals individuality and creative attributes.
Comments:
What a great post! So many well stated thoughts.
Loved the lines " I do not agree with the solution of creating a unisex army of indistinguishable drones with little to no outlet for self-expression."
AND
"History and social studies are full of creative and interesting people, most of which would not be those who would fall in line with monotony of the dress code clones we are trying to create in our public school system of today."
Far too often school systems send mix messages ... on one hand our children are taught to respect the Founding Fathers for their defiance of an unjust king, declaring independence from oppression and creating a nation which cherishes freedom of thought ... while on the other hand, those same children are rewarded for conformity and punished for any signs of individualism.
Parents must absolutely get involved and stay involved with their children's education ... and if our government schools continue to stifle creativity and promote a one-size fits all environment, then parents MUST stand up and demand better ... or consider removing their children from government schools and finding an appropriate private school or homeschooling/unschooling setting as an option.
It can not be overstated, that the future (and quality) of America rests in our ability to allow for and encourage the once honored traditions of logic, reason, creativity, civility, discourse, debate AND dissent!
I'm fairly young and it wasn't long ago that I had to wear uniforms to school. I agree wholeheartedly with most of the points you have made. The uniform restrictions are ridiculous. I agree with the basic dress code every school in my area has (no belly button showing, shorts must reach fingertips when standing up straight, no gang symbols, etc). In the area that I live in the only reason most schools choose to implement uniforms is to keep students from wearing their gang colors to school. When I was in 6th grade a fellow student was shanked after the science fair in the school parking lot by a member of a rival gang. It's to the point here that students will be suspended for writing a friends phone number or a note on their skin with a pen. Writing on yourself is considered to be the same as having a tattoo, and this rule is for elementary and middle school students!
All of these extreme measures are obviously not working, they just keep adding more. Students can still communicate what gang they're in to each other through a plethora of methods. Children from lower socioeconomic classes get even more gruff for being 'poor' because they have crappy uniforms and they can't just blend in with everyone else in jeans and tee shirts. Also, most children find ways around the dress code with accessories/makeup/shoes to show their individuality. These shows of individuality are usually very 'distracting' because of the extremes the children feel they need to go to if they want to show their individuality. When I was in a school with a uniform 20 ear piercings, robin's egg blue eyeshadow everywhere, black lipstick, boys with painted nails, fake gold teeth... all were common. If you repress a child they will go to extremes to rebel. The whole uniform idea is completely counterproductive.
I agree with what you say about uniforms; it is extreme. Unfortunately, parents do not take care of their children the way they should and don't give rules, don't discipline, and want to be "best friends" with their kids, so this is what we end up with.
When we were in San Antonio, living on Kelly AFB (we were stationed at Lackland), Noah went to the school right ouside our housing because that was the school district we were in. The neighborhood ouside the housing area is the "barrio", a hisanic ghetto, very poor and well, ghetto. The kids wore uniforms, and as much as I loved not having to fight about a shirt having a rip, or it was too small, I felt the same way. At the same token, I was grateful that he didn't have to see t-shirts that had bad words on them, pants falling off butts, etc. Of course, he was in pre-k and 1st when he attended there, but still.
Now I'm glad that he gets to wear pretty much what he wants to. We get alot of clothes from Lands End, because they last forever and are classically styled. He loves their shade of orange, and so he has tshirts and turtlenecks and his jackets are orange... he has bony knees, so he gets their pants that have the reinforced knees and he looks great! Yes, it costs more, but I am able to do handmedowns to a friend with ease because they still look good after a year or so of wear. haha... I guess he has his own self-enforced "uniform" with all the orange, blue and white he likes to wear.
If I had a daughter *sigh* I would so dress her up! I'd sew all the time and ruffle her to pieces LOL. I had a friend when we were stationed at Fort Ord, who had her kids attend a private school. They got around a lot of the uniform stuff with putting bows in her daughters' hair, and doing cute crocheted/beaded cuffs on their socks. Her daughters looked adorable! Getting back to me though.. I would teach my daughter about skin care, how having just one pair of earrings looks so much better, etc... I do know teens rebel, though, so I'd be totally on the lookout for that.
Anyway, thanks for a well written essay! Parents really need to take control of their children and raise them the way they should be raised. This is just a result of Hillary Clinton saying that it takes a village to raise a child.
I'm so glad to have found your post. It's fantastic to see there are other people that feel the same as I do on the issue. I actually found your journal while searching for information on how to stop the policy scheduled to take effect at my son's school this next school year.
Many of your points completely mirror mine. Things like preventing class disruption, decrease of bullying due to lables, imaginary cost savings, and eliminating disregard of dress code are ploys these schools use to blind parents from the fact that these things are going to happen anyway!
How often does a K-6 grade child become distracted by someone's clothing or, better yet suffered academic reprocussions from them?
What's going to happen when a child with a more well-off family comes in with a Tommy or Nautica polo decides to pick on the ones who can only afford Walmart or Kmart?
And how about when the "cheaper" options become more expensive? Like when you have to replace the cheap pants throughout the year because they are ripped or worn out. Or when your child, as mine did this year, goes through 3 different sizes. That forces me to buy 3 wardrobes for school and 3 more for outside of it!
Also, the kids are still going to disregard this dress code. They are going to find a way to express their individuality in some way-- as they should have the right to do!
I will be fighting it til the end, as I am a firm believer that you have no right to b**** about something if you're not going to do anything about it! I'm earning my right to rant!!
I like this post, it makes many great points. If I decided to choose a private school that wore uniforms and then tried to fight the uniforms, then it is on me, I knew. But to make public school children wear uniforms??? Totally wrong, IMO.
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Everything about uniforms I completely agree with. Pretty much always have. Part of me was glad that we are homeschooling next year for the simple fact that my son won't be wearing a uniform any longer. However he attends a private school. Just last week I was thinking the EXACT same point you made that you can dress a kid in uniform that goes to a private school, but that doesn't mean he is getting the quality of education as a child going to private school. Of course I was thinking this as the girl I watch after school came over in her uniform that she wears to her public school the day after finding out from a public school teacher (in a different district) that the school this girl attends doesn't teach history any longer since it isn't on the PSSA tests. They weren't teaching Science either until that was added to the tests. I'd say let's focus on education and what is really important and set standards for dress not clone outfits.
I got an idea they can wear the uniforms of private schools as soon as their education is that of most private schools. Sounds fair.
- WatchGirl29
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