I read a post earlier about people calling teen moms bad mothers just because we are teens. I started thinking about it and the more I thought about it the more it pisses me off. I was told My entire pregnancy I was a whore and I'd never amount to anything and that my baby wouldn't live to see his first birthday with me as his mother.

Life is bad enough on a teen mom, especially a single teen mom who has to do all the parenting and money making by themselves, I just cannot see how these people can really be that cruel as to say something like that to a mom simply because of their age. I would never in my life talk down to a teen mom, I know what it is, I've lived it, I dropped out of school at 16 and worked all but 1 day a week for 5 hours a day standing on my fat swollen feet just to get a 200 dollar check every 2 weeks. I had my son, stayed alone in the hospital because my mother wanted to go out drinking, and I was hurt, I cried whenever I was left alone, My cousin was nice enough to stay with me the first night. That second night though I was all alone and my mom picked me up the next day, held the baby while I unloaded all the stuff from the car, and then left to go out with her friends, I was home, alone, with a new born. I was terrified, called my aunt crying and had her come pick us up. We stayed with them for 3 days before I went back to my moms, and I still hurt because of all that, she didn't have to leave me, I didn't want  to be alone, and still to this day she tells me I'm a bad mother and says I'm starving my son. She even took me to court over him the Christmas before last and tried to have him taken from me just because I was moving out of her house and in with a friend of mine, I had never been more scared in my life, I was terrified I was loosing my son, scared of what was happening (she told me we were going to talk to the judge because I had "run away")

Life is hard enough on us teen moms, Why do people think its ok to make it any worse? I just don't understand how some people can  be so cruel.

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Comments:

ashnc...
May. 15, 2008 at 10:34 AM man, would I love to see that post. I had my daughter at 15. I have made a great life for me and my family now and would like to talk to anyone who did not think I could do it.

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wrensong
May. 15, 2008 at 10:41 AM

Hmm no offence here but it seems like between you and your mother, YOU are the more responsible parent.

Being a mom is hard, being a single mom is harder still and being a teen single mom has to be the hardest of all. Don't let anyone bring you down, you just keep doing what's best for you and your son.

If you need someone to talk to, drop me a line, I had my first child at 19, just has my last at 35, and I have been a single mom in between.

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clithero
May. 15, 2008 at 10:43 AM

I'm not a teen, but I'm a young, first-time mother.  I had plenty of support, but being at home with a newborn alone was still scary for me.  I can't imagine trying to do it at 16, 17, or even 18.

My only advice to you is to ignore what anyone else assumes about your parenting skills.  As long as you are doing what you think is best for YOUR child, then you are doing all you can.

I think most people deride teen mothers because it isn't the ideal situation for a baby to be born into, and most assume that a pregnancy could have been prevented, so teen mothers are automatically deemed irresponsible.  I think none of that matters, and the ideal situation for a baby is having a loving, stable household - even if it is just one teenage mom doing the loving.

Good luck, keep your head up, and don't let the unnecessarily cruel criticism affect you too much.

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MSuga...
May. 15, 2008 at 10:44 AM I am 52 years old and my daughter is 33 this year. I was a teen mom and it was hard but I managed to raise her and she is a mom to a three year old boy today. I ignored all the people that couldn't accept us ..I erased them out of our lives and I think that helped me stay sane and give my child the best life I could for being a teen parent. Today my 20 year old is living with us and she delivered a baby boy last year. She is living with us and is a great mom to him. What you need to do is follow your heart and do the best you know how for your own children. When they grow up you will see good results.

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Brayd...
May. 15, 2008 at 11:02 AM thanks girls for being so supportive about my post, and thanks for sharing your stories. I've recently made a group of my own and Its all about just whatever, there are no rules, talk about anything you want. Join us, Its called Mommys needing a friend to talk to, start up your own post, and don't forget to introduce youselves, I'd love to hear all your stories

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Fordm...
May. 15, 2008 at 11:21 AM I was also a teen mom. I did graduate high school. I also worked my butt off. I know that I'm a better mom than alot of woman who are older than me. I have a special needs child and I have done everything and anything to give her a good life. My child respects me and listens to me she an't running wild in Target like some other peoples kids. She has all that she needs from her fun young momma. I had her at 17 and did not go on welfare and my parents did not pay for her needs I did!! I worked and took full responsibilty for her. I would never change anything it made me a better person.

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Anouck
May. 21, 2008 at 6:27 PM

No offense, BraydensMama, but you sounded horribly judgemental in your post to HopefulTaurus about whether or not you would terminate a pregnancy if there was something wrong with the fetus... Judge not, less thee be judged.

 I'm sorry for your situation, and admire you for keeping the baby and doing what you had to do, but I would think you of all people would think before judging somebody else on their decisions...

 Just my opinion, blast me if you must.

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