Losing my baby........

[T.Depradine]

Tonight I have experienced something I wouldn't wish on anyone.....I lost the baby I had carried for 11weeks and 5 days. My first two pregnancy were great and I had no problems or complications and this one was going good to. I had been under a lot of stress in the begining of the pregnancy, and I wasn't doing a very good job of taking care of myself besides taking the prenatel. I feel like it is somehow my fault that the baby is gone. I should have done more to protect my child. I feel like my husband is more relieved than anything even though he says he is not. The nurses were horrible at the hospital I was at, and I wanted to leave but I was cramping and bleeding to much and I just wanted to see if they could stop it. I was in so much pain not only physically, but when they told me I was losing baby and there was nothing they could do about it cause It was to early in my pregnancy,  my heart broke. I know it was gonna be a mad house having three babies back to back, but I wanted my baby. I'm so sad and I don't know what to do with my emotions. I know God does everything for a reason and I'm trying to put some postitve thoughts in my head but its really hard, because for some reason I never thought this could happen to me. I figured I'm young, my first two pregnancy's were good, so I'll be ok. Its hard facing reality. I wanna blame my husband for stressing me out so much the first two months, but tis not his fault, I let myself be upset and stressed knowing I was carrying a life. My baby was fighting for their life and I couldn't do anything to save my child. I know there are worse things in life, but this is the worst thing that has happened to me. I know it will get better, but my child will always be in my heart.

[TwinmomPlus]

May. 16, 2008 at 11:47 PM It is not your fault.  I'm so sorry for your loss.  Please don't blame yourself or your husband.  Seek grief counseling if you need it.  There is no reason to go through the pain alone.

[gustinebrat]

May. 16, 2008 at 11:54 PM i am so sorry for your loss please get help for this do  not go through thid alone

[Val504]

May. 17, 2008 at 12:03 AM hey sweety,I am so sorry for you and your family,but when you said the baby you lost,honey,you didnt lose this baby,she is in heaven cradled in the arms of Jesus,waiting to meet you ,daddy and the rest of the family.When we lose something,we don't know where it is,but rest assure this precious baby is  just fine.My prayer for you ,is that you feel Gods comfort and love through this difficult time.I don't think we will ever know why God allows things to happen until we get ti heaven.Honey don't you dare blame yourself for this,I can tell you wanted this child.like twins mom says go to counceling.And take time to greive,but not for the baby,but for you.The baby is perfect.I also know God forsees things down the road,and it is his way of keeping us from going through things,that we may not be able to handle.But He does know best.Remember it's thy will be done,not our will.Bless you sweetpea i'll continue to pray for you .stay strongI  It's not you fault keep telling yourself this.

[mathmuch]

May. 17, 2008 at 12:04 AM

You are going to find a million ways to blame yourself.  Don't.  You loved your child for the short time that you had together and knowing that your love was the strongest it could be might give you some peace.  You have two beautiful children.  Enjoy them, but be sure to let yourself grieve your lost child.  Remember too that you can only control what YOU did for your unborn child and not what your husband or the horrible nurses did.  Take special care of yourself, which I am sure includes the intense appreciation for your beautiful babies at home.  You're right - the pain will subside but don't be surprised at how it may want to take over your life.  You will be OK.

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own."  Matthew 6:34

[brownbeauty]

May. 17, 2008 at 12:11 AM

I am so sorry to hear about your loss.  I know you must really be going though a tough time right now, but don't blame Your self or GOD, or anyone.  Emotions are something we cannot control.  If you were stressing about something, maybe it was better that you didin't bring a baby into that, and especially if you know that things were going to be a little tight, you know that there could have been post par-tum depression, and/or you didn't want to cause any other dilemmas that could have been, because a lot of times when we decide as women that we want to have children when we are married but we must also remember our Husbands are the HEAD, and we NEED to consult with our husbands for everything. 

 Not saying that He shouldn't have been happy or didn't want a child, but maybe GOD knows whats best.  He is always a LARGE step ahead of us.  So please keep you head up, do not get your self down.  You have two beautiful children and a Husband to keep up girl. 

Also Try and get someone to talk to, even if it is just a best friend, a sister, a mother, or even a counselor you need to talk to someone.  GOD BLESS YOU

You are welcome to join my any one of my twp groups for encouragements I have praying warriors and women of God who will listen and  encourage and uplift your spirits.

"Blessed Women of God",  and "The study of Christ-like living"

[PRECIOUS_ONE]

May. 17, 2008 at 3:25 AM This is not your fault and you are not alone, you have a beautiful family and they will help you get through this hard time, everything happens for a reason God just have other plans for you and your life right now !

[ummioften]

May. 17, 2008 at 9:20 AM

You have my condolences on your loss.

Here's  a little bit of info that may give you some relief, Your body, being the wonderful and magnificent creation it is, will sometime cause the baby to be born early if it detects a threat to the baby. This is a defense system to protect life.

I know, I didn't understand it myself, but that is how it works.  So you see, it could not have been your fault. Just sit and be still. Be sincerely thankful for the wonder that is US. And know that this is not an end to your family, that you will be able to have the family you want in time.  Stay Blessed.

[pinaymama]

May. 18, 2008 at 12:41 AM My heart goes out to you as you grieve for what might have been, but you have the strength to wade through these tough waters. The mere fact that you have the courage to share your pain so as to release the emotions that you're feeling right now shows that the healing process has already begun. Now and always, you have my love and prayers from across the miles from one mother to another.

[luv_my_jeans]

May. 18, 2008 at 12:46 AM My prayers are with you.

[champaigne4276]

May. 18, 2008 at 1:39 AM So sorry to hear about your loss.  Please don't fault yourself.  My mom always tells me that "things happen for a reason" and "that God won't give you anything that you can't handle". I can't imagine what your going through but I can imagine it is very difficult. Please stay strong for your two beautiful daughters that you have.  My prayers are with you also.  Hang in there.