I like to think every family discusses poop like they discuss the weather. But I'm willing to bet they don't. I think my grandma got the ball rolling. She's a health nut that has always been into holistic healing. So her sure-fix for any ailment was poop. More specifically, making sure you made some. Whether it was fibrous foods, herbal laxatives, or the dreaded enema, you weregoing to be pooping regularly. My brother and I traveled a lot with our grandparents, driving cross country almost every summer. And each time we reached our destination for the night, Grams would say, "I want you to go in the bathroom and set a while." Apparently a turd is a litmus test for overall health. I got to all kinds of questions about the shape, size, color, and consistency of my dumps. Even writing this, I'm aware of how weird that is. But that's just the way things were. Now that I'm an adult, I try not to mention it when I'm not feeling well. If I do, Grandma shyly inquires as to the last time I've had a bowel movement. At least she feigns shyness.

I guess it's only fitting that marriage was kicked off with poop. Weddings are a ton of stress, especially when you're doing most of it alone. Then you cram yourself into a lovely but uncomfortable dress for the day. Add horrible eating habits for the past few days and plenty of coffee to the mix - you've got the perfect cocktail for a hellacious crap. And that's just what I had to make on my wedding night. Wouldn't you know that my log of mammoth proportions wouldn't flush, either. So my dashing groom chopped it up with a courtesy notice. What a beautiful start to a new life. (Thank God he's just as insane as I am. We're both still laughing about it!)

Now the beauty of kids is that they're born loving poop. You can tell by the way babies perk right up after a good blowout. Toddlers learn to be grossed out by it, but that does nothing to stem their curiosity. Ever walk through a woods or park with a toddler and say, "Don't step in that. That's rabbit poop." Eeeert! They instantly put on the brakes for further investigation. Maybe even a jab or two with a stick if you're not watching too closely.

I'm potty training Declan finally. He's been very aware of what's going on in his diapers for a long time, but was born lazy. He was never one of those babies that fuss when they soil their pants. Nope, my boy could play in a full diaper until it fell off him from the weight of urine and feces. Today I realized that my legacy of bodily discussions has already been passed on to Declan. He came out this morning to tell me that he went ca-ca in the potty. Apparently he'd already been very animated in describing it to my husband, so Bryan asked him, "What size was you ca-ca?" Declan replied, "Big. Widdle. PERFECT!"

Yep, we loves our poop around here.

Tags: funny, poop

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