A True Friend
- May 19, 2008 at 7:24 PM by tat2ed_goddess
- 2 Comment(s)
- 30 Total Views
BUDDY!
Are you sick of all those sissy "friendship" poems that always sound like Hallmark cards, and never come close to reality? Well, there is a series of promises that really speak to true friendship:
1. When you are sad - I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
2. When you are blue - I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile - I will know you've finally had sex.
4. When you are scared - I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried - I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and tell you to quit whining.
6. When you are confused - I will use little words.
7. When you are sick - stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall - I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass. This is my oath...I pledge it till the end. Why, you ask? Because you are my friend.
Send this to 10 of your closest friends, then get depressed because You can only think of two, and one of them isn't speaking to you anyway.
Remember: A good friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body. Let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel...
Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like, "You know, sometimes I just forget to eat." Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name, and my keys. But I've never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat.
Are you sick of all those sissy "friendship" poems that always sound like Hallmark cards, and never come close to reality? Well, there is a series of promises that really speak to true friendship:
1. When you are sad - I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
2. When you are blue - I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile - I will know you've finally had sex.
4. When you are scared - I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried - I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and tell you to quit whining.
6. When you are confused - I will use little words.
7. When you are sick - stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall - I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass. This is my oath...I pledge it till the end. Why, you ask? Because you are my friend.
Send this to 10 of your closest friends, then get depressed because You can only think of two, and one of them isn't speaking to you anyway.
Remember: A good friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body. Let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel...
Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like, "You know, sometimes I just forget to eat." Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name, and my keys. But I've never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat.
- Written by tat2ed_goddess on May 19, 2008 at 7:24 PM
- 30 total views
- See all posts by tat2ed_goddess
Comments:
thats hella cute haha
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kimberlyd768 May. 19, 2008 at 7:27 PM