I got to go out without the kiddos this weekend for the first time since Lucan was born. It was just adults and it was magical. For some reason there are a lot of casinos around here and my dad's cousin wanted to go to one while she was here visiting. So she and her daughter joined my dad and I for a little gambling fun. Bryan had the boys, so I didn't even have to worry about getting back at a certain time or if they were getting the right attention. As far as daddies go, that man rocks.

Now I'm not a habitual gambler. I don't consider myself particularly lucky. I don't buy scratch-off tickets or find raffles to be of interest. I just happen to think poker is a fun way to spend a couple hours. It could have something to do with the fact that my dad's side of the family plays card at every single family gathering. Just a hunch.

Every time I've ever been to a casino, I get ID'd at the door and then again at some point later. Sometimes more than once. So I finally wised up and started asking for a wristband the first time. I've always thought it was embarrassing and annoying. Saturday night when we arrived the first thing I did was ask a security guard for a wrist band. He didn't have any on him, so he radioed for someone to bring some up. Apparently that someone had a long walk, because it took forever. And for some reason we were standing really close to the guy, so it was impossible to look anywhere else.

It was an awkward, quiet situation to begin with. And then a thought occurred to me. What if this guy doesn't think I even needed one to begin with? What if he's laughing in his head about the dumb chick who thinks she looks a lot younger than she does. I've talked to that chick before and had those same thoughts, so it didn't take much imagination. I sure never thought I'd be her though! Suddenly I was analyzing everything: my clothes, my hair cut, how long it'd been since I applied make up, the baby weight. What if everything about me screams "mom"!?

By the time those damn bands finally got there, I was ready to run back to the car and hide. I stayed, played Black Jack, had fun, and came out even. But somehow I feel like I lost....

And I'm getting rid of my bangs.

Everyone can see this journal post.

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