I jokingly refer to my personal style of home decor as "Shabby Crackhead".  Seriously, I own nothing that is remotely attractive, valuable or drenched in sentiment.  Unfortunately, that's not what the home makeover people are looking for; they want the family who has an old pipe organ infested with raccoons in their living room, or folks who have a basement stuffed full of plastic-sheathed copies of TV Guide or people who collected thousands of Beanie Babies beause they really believed they would be able to buy an island off the proceeds some day.  Basically, my crap isn't...

The Opera Gene is not exactly a musical gift, it's more of a tendency toward musicalizing everyday events and it comes with a flair for the dramatic.  Everyone in my immediate family has The Opera Gene, and it manifests itself in many, many ways. In me, The Opera Gene showed itself at age five, when I composed a song entitled "It's Cold On Jupiter" that won me a free ice cream sundae at the local Baskin-Robbins.  My sister Sarah got the more moody and thoughtful form of The Gene which caused her to be able to amuse herself for hours making up little ditties such as her famous...

Six years ago, we saw the ultrasound that proved that we were having a girl in blatant defiance of my belief that we were having another boy.  My husband and mother and I went out to lunch after the appointment and began discussing names for the little goofball.  My mother favors names like "Helen" and "Ruth" while my husband prefers names like "Arwen" and "Polgara".  Because the two of them were bickering and I'd already managed to steal most of their french fries out from under them, I suggested we name the kid "Pepsi Comcast" just to illustrate the ridiculousness of the...

Ah, the humble muffin.   They're simple, quick and depending on the ingredients one uses, quite healthy.So, what makes a muffin a Ninja Muffin?  It's the sneaky, hidden goodness!Making muffins is really easy and flexible.  For 24 good-sized muffins, you'll need:Dry Ingredients3 cups flour (half-and-half 100% whole wheat and unbleached regular is what I use)2 teaspoons baking soda1 teaspoon saltWet Ingredients1 cup of oil or butter (I like half butter, half canola oil)3 eggs2 cups Ninja Puree (explanation will follow)So, you stir together the dry ingredients and leave 'em...

Otherwise known as "A joke that's also a poem".The Thunder God went for a rideUpon his favorite filly."I'm Thor!" he criedThe horse replied"You forgot your thaddle, thilly!"

My father has a letterman sweater from high school.  He gave it to me when I was little to play dress-up with (it was the perfect masculinizing accessory).  I wore it when I was in high school; it was my lucky charm.  I am now knocking on 40 years old, and what am I wearing to keep me warm in the very frosty nursing school classroom?  My Daddy's sweater.  What can I say, it's still hanging together after decades and decades of Student Abuse.  It's still my lucky charm.

Would I reuse coffee grounds to make another pot of coffee?  Been there, drunk that, completely fine with my disgusting decision. I really just answered this so I could use the title "Piping Hot Desperation".  I'm a word nerd like that.