Nov. 21, 2009 at 9:58 PM
I did not write the piece below. I point that out not to distance myself from it, but to give proper credit to Martha Osborne. Thanks, Martha, for writing this, and thanks, Katherine, for sending it to me. Find My FamilyABC airs sensationalized adoption seriesNovember 13,2009 / Martha Osborne In the most exploitive and disparaging-of-adoption media effort yet, ABC will air a 'sneak peek' of their new series Find My Family on Monday, November 23rd. With a sensationalized and soap-opera style, ABC will take viewers into the lives of adoptees and birth families in their...
Nov. 18, 2009 at 4:40 PM
An extraordinary young woman named Jessica wrote the piece below and graciously agreed to let me post it here. Thanks, Jessica. She's Just Not That Into You: my unrequited love storyMy daughter, the person I love more than anything in the world, does not love me as much as I love her. In fact, for the first couple of years of her life, she didn't know my face from a stranger's. I planned it that way, but it was still very hard to get used to.Someday, having a relationship with me will be important to my first born. It will answer key identity questions, even as simple as "Who do I look...
Nov. 10, 2009 at 9:49 AM
Grief sits gently in your lap like a small, soft animal that no one else can see.Grief sleeps on the end of your bed, waking you at 3 a.m. when it shifts and stretches.In the morning, grief is always there crying to be fed your truest memories.Grief becomes your ever-present companion - a profound sorrow that's also vaguely sweet, and affirming. For while grief is a specter, it is the ghost of love.Gradually, grief grows smaller and lighter, until one day it simply slips inside you and lies purring in your chest, because grief never leaves. Instead it moves ever inward - the spirit of...
Nov. 9, 2009 at 12:30 PM
My book What I Want My Adopted Child to Know: An Adoptive Parent's Perspective is due out in a few weeks. Here's an excerpt from chapter 2.
We Are Your Real Parents
Some mothers know, with the first subtle sign, that they carry life within them. They realize something profound has begun, and they can recall the exact moment when they knew they had become part of an organically perfect union. These mothers witness every change their body makes to accommodate the precious new life. They lovingly pat and stroke and whisper love songs to their unborn child. They offer their bodies and...
Oct. 29, 2009 at 9:34 AM
"Nothing says 'I love you' like good hygiene." That's what the latest Target coupon flier tells me. A coupon flier I never requested be put in my mailbox.I'm also told that "Anxiety and laundry detergent should be strangers to one another" and that "Moisturizing is like a vacation for your skin".Who is writing this crap?! And more importantly, are there any women who actually buy into this ridiculous, insulting, condescending style of marketing?I don't know who Target's target customer base is, but if they're targeting me, they've missed the mark by a mile.Oops, do I sound bitter? Perhaps...
Oct. 26, 2009 at 10:30 AM
For those of you who are interested, here's an excerpt from my book, What I Want My Adopted Child to Know, due out in November!You know your birth story; I've told it to you many times. But
there's one chapter of your story you may not know. It's a chapter
that's not so much about you as it is about me. It's my
chapter. You see, your birth story is also my birth story, because this
mother that I am was born when you were born. You made me a mother. You
made me your mother. And for me, our birth story actually began long
before you were conceived.
I don't know anyone who dreamed
...
Oct. 7, 2009 at 8:19 AM
Some of you know that I've been off-line for a while working on my book manuscript. It's done (yay!), in the publisher's hands (yay!), and we're shooting for a November launch (double yay!).The book is called What I Want My Adopted Child to Know - An Adoptive Parent's Perspective. The November launch is important b/c November is National Adoption Month.Anyway, I'm looking for book reviewers. Here's some basic information:You do not need to be an adoptive parent. If you are an adoptive parent, an adoptee, a birth mother, someone considering adoption, or just curious about the topic, I'd like...
Jul. 12, 2009 at 4:30 PM
Very soon we're reuniting with our son's birth mother ("J") and her
parents. Rather than continuing to have nearly the same conversation
with various and sundry family and friends (eight times and counting),
I've decided to post this FAQ for easy reference by all interested
parties.Q: Why are you going to meet with them?A: Because
we told them we would. We discussed it before "J" left the hospital;
it's important to her, and therefore, important to us. Q: What does she want from you? She must want something...?A: She wants respect. A warm hello. Probably a burp cloth when she holds...
Jul. 3, 2009 at 3:36 PM
I'm ready to admit that I struggle with blogging about adoption, and
the struggle surprises me. I have no mixed feelings to get in my way...
no ongoing grief or frustration to impede me. In fact, I have been
twice-blessed with adoptions that exceeded even my wildest hopes.
Twice-blessed with healthy newborns adopted domestically after meeting
their birth mothers, who are two of the most fabulous young women on
the planet, and an adoption attorney who is compassionate, wise, and
professionally impeccable. No drama. No trauma. No hardship worth
counting, other than financial, and that...
Apr. 30, 2009 at 5:01 PM
"Mom, Mom... please don't disturb my work. I'll talk to you later."OK, Babe. I won't disturb your work."Mom, Mom... do you want to know what work I'm doing?"Yes, I'd love to know. What work are you doing?"I'm doing my writing work. I'm working very, very hard to do very good writing work. Do you want to know why?"I'd love to know why."So
I can be a good writer just like you, Mama. And then... and then... if
I work really hard and be a good writer like you, we can write things
together. Right, Mama?"We already do, Baby. We already do.Pardon me while my heart bursts.