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I have been broken up with someone now for 2 1/2 years and I find myself still dreaming about him and still thinking what if's ...it's killing me inside because I found someone great that I am now engaged with and having a child with and I don't want to betray him in any way...not even mentally...I am afraid that maybe I jumped into a relationship too soon and now I am scared for our future...mine, my fiances and my future baby. I have been in therapy for the last 2 1/2 years but I am still finding it difficult. He left me for another woman after 5 years and the way it happened is still haunting me...that and other issues we had. Please help if you can and please write comments with your answers to help me figure things out better...

What is the longest time it's taken you to get over someone?

  • 3-6 months

    26%
  • 6 months to a year

    17%
  • more than a year but less than 2

    21%
  • 2 or more....

    34%
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bianca2422
Submitted by at 11:13 PM on Dec. 8, 2008
Votes (147) Comments (17)

What is the longest time it's taken you to get over someone?

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bianca2422
Submitted by at 11:13 PM on Dec. 8, 2008
Votes (147) Comments (17)

Comments

  • moviestart...
    Submitted by   at 7:01 AM on December 9, 2008

    I chose a year...sometimes you may not never get over them.

  • bianca2422
    Submitted by   at 12:50 PM on December 9, 2008

    Thats encouraging (not) ....I dont want to be thinking about it when I am 80 if I make it there.

  • Motherdrag...
    Submitted by   at 6:27 PM on December 9, 2008

    I picked 2-3 months but in actuality is was more like 6-weeks. My husband was the first man I dated that I really had true feelings for.

  • Meghan1983
    Submitted by   at 3:06 PM on December 11, 2008

    i still think about my ex from high school, but i had a baby with him. im 25 thats bad hua...

  • bianca2422
    Submitted by   at 8:33 AM on December 12, 2008

    Well I guess it's normal in some ways considering you had a baby with him.

  • unsuspecte...
    Submitted by   at 5:37 PM on December 12, 2008

    Everybody is different. I can say this ... I think it's a good thing that you are in counseling. I'm sorry that your previous relationship ended hte way that is did. Cheating is so hurtful, it brings up the worst thought about ourselves. Honey, I think the issue here is less about getting over HIM as it is about getting over the pain of his betrayal. You have a little one on the way and aman who loves you. This ex had his own issues that stood in his way of really loving you, that was not your fault and you did nothing to deserve it.
    That being said ... forgivness doesn't have a timeline. It's about deciding to let go of that pain for your own good, deciding to let go of it so it can't hurt you anymore. You have a lot to be grateful for and a life you are making for yourself where that pain simply does not have a place.
    God bless you, I'm here if you wanna talk ... forgivness is somethng I struggle with too.

  • oregonduck
    Submitted by   at 5:57 PM on December 13, 2008

    I am with my DF now, but still think about an x from 3 years ago, is that normal....no kids w/ the ex....

  • bianca2422
    Submitted by   at 1:03 AM on December 15, 2008

    what is DF? Well what the girl said in the post above you makes so much sense....Thank you so much! :))

  • Familytyme
    Submitted by   at 4:54 PM on December 17, 2008

    I was with the most amazine man whom I to this day believe is my soul mate, but unfortunately he got wrapped up in drugs after a year of that battle I just couldn't take it anymore and left. I have been married to another man, whom I love very deeply, now for 5 years, but I still dream about "my soulmate". There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about him at least once. I don't think I am being unfaithful to my husband, you cannot control your dreams or thoughts, and once you truely love someone it never really goes away.

  • Angelgurl1...
    Submitted by   at 7:47 PM on December 18, 2008

    I feel for you i went thru alot w the father of my child b4 and after getting pregnant. I never thought Id ever be happy with anyone else..you may always hold a place in your heart for people that have been a part of your life,but you cannot control anothers emotions/actions. Thats what it took for me to move on. You may be feeling like you did something wrong that made him leave,and you need that closure,{speaking from experience}sounds like thats why its haunting you. I also think we sometimes subconsiously think about things we'd rather NOT remember.

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